xander
Active member
# Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
# If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
# Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
# Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
# Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
# If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
# Can you get cornered in a round room?
# Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
# If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
# If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
# Why is a square meal served on round plates?
# If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
# Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
# You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
# Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
# Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
# Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
# Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
# Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
# Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
# Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
# Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
# Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
# Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
# Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
# Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
# If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?
# Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
# Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
# Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
# Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
# What's another word for synonym?
# What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
# What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
# What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
# What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
# There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
# Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
# If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out?
# If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
# If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
# If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube?
# If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
# If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
# If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
# If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
# If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
# If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
# If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
# If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
# How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
# How is it possible to have a civil war?
# How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
# Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
# Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
# How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney?
# Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
# why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
# Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
# Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot?
# Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?
# Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
# Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?
# Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
# If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
# Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
# IF MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, WHY DO BANKS HAVE BRANCHES?
# Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot?
# Is there anything easier done than said?
# If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
# Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?
# Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
# When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?
# Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?
# Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?
# If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
# Seeing as cupid is so good at matchmaking, does he have a girlfriend?
# Why do they put Canadian bacon on Hawaiian Pizza?
# How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?
# If money is the root of all evil then how come churches ask for it?
# Why is there an L in NOEL?
# What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?
# Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?
# What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?
# How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
# When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not?
# If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?
# Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?
# Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?
# If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday?
# If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator?
# Why are things typed up but written down?
# Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
# What does OK actually mean?
# Why do donuts have holes?
# Do the different "M&M's"? colors taste different?
# Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?
# If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
# Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
# Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
# Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
# If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
# Can you get cornered in a round room?
# Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
# If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
# If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
# Why is a square meal served on round plates?
# If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
# Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
# You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
# Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
# Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
# Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
# Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
# Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
# Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
# Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
# Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
# Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
# Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
# Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
# Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
# If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?
# Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
# Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
# Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
# Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
# What's another word for synonym?
# What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
# What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
# What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
# What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
# There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
# Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
# If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out?
# If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
# If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
# If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube?
# If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
# If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
# If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
# If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
# If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
# If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
# If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
# If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
# How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
# How is it possible to have a civil war?
# How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
# Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
# Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
# How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney?
# Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
# why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
# Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
# Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot?
# Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?
# Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
# Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?
# Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
# If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
# Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
# IF MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, WHY DO BANKS HAVE BRANCHES?
# Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot?
# Is there anything easier done than said?
# If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
# Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?
# Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
# When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?
# Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?
# Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?
# If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
# Seeing as cupid is so good at matchmaking, does he have a girlfriend?
# Why do they put Canadian bacon on Hawaiian Pizza?
# How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?
# If money is the root of all evil then how come churches ask for it?
# Why is there an L in NOEL?
# What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?
# Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?
# What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?
# How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
# When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not?
# If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?
# Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?
# Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?
# If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday?
# If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator?
# Why are things typed up but written down?
# Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
# What does OK actually mean?
# Why do donuts have holes?
# Do the different "M&M's"? colors taste different?
# Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?