Team Infidel
Forum Spin Doctor
I offer up the following quotes from all of the famous people in history. I have always admired Babe Ruth.
Beer Theories
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I
look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of
work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink
this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my
liver."
Babe Ruth
__________________________________________________________
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Lyndon B. Johnson
__________________________________________________________
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Paul Hornung
__________________________________________________________
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
H. L. Mencken
__________________________________________________________
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So,
let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
George Bernard Shaw
__________________________________________________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
__________________________________________________________
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
__________________________________________________________
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
W. C. Fields
__________________________________________________________
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
Professor Irwin Corey
__________________________________________________________
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
Leo Durocher
__________________________________________________________
One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his
buddy Norm:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move
as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This
natural selection is good for the herd as a
whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps
improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! In much
the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills
brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest
brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Beer Theories
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I
look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of
work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink
this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my
liver."
Babe Ruth
__________________________________________________________
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
Lyndon B. Johnson
__________________________________________________________
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Paul Hornung
__________________________________________________________
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
H. L. Mencken
__________________________________________________________
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So,
let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
George Bernard Shaw
__________________________________________________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
__________________________________________________________
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
__________________________________________________________
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
W. C. Fields
__________________________________________________________
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
Professor Irwin Corey
__________________________________________________________
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
Leo Durocher
__________________________________________________________
One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his
buddy Norm:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move
as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This
natural selection is good for the herd as a
whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps
improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! In much
the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills
brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest
brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."