Jack Bauer (24) facts

Team Infidel

Forum Spin Doctor
Ok.. I am amazed this thread has not yet been started here. So let's get to it. Start listing all of your Jack Bauer facts. Only one - 1 - UNO fact per thread thank you... I will start.

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're f:cen:ing dead."
True. Absolutely unbelievable. I think Jack Bauer is not referenced enough on this forum.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a f*cking terrorist.
never a slow day...

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
Someone once tried to tell Jack Bauer a knock knock joke. Jack found out who was there, who they worked for and where the godd*mned bombs were!
Ah, come on guys, what's this nonsense? Jack Bauer is so freaking overrated. Let's be honest, he's obviously not as good as Jason Bourne or even James Bond. He has a bear belly for god's sakes. Perfectly fits the profile of a fat butt couch guy eating pizza, pop corn and candy watching football and dreaming wishfully.

The whole concept of 24 is so made up and fake it's surreal to say the least. Even pure fantasy movies don't go that far. Bauer and his invisible steel shield... A dozen people will fire AK-47s at him from a few feet away and all the 250 bullets will conveniently draw his silhuette on the wall behind him. Bullschit! :confused:

In truth, that guy probably doesn't have the balls for a simple one-on-one gun duel with any single one of you here. You put a gun to his head and if it's not on the script, he'll scream and cry like a little girl and ask to see the director. Wake up and smell the coffee. You want a believable American TV hero?

Look no further than Detective John McClane!


LMAO! Calvin Klein wanna be vapid show off...

Boo! :)

Having this faker on TV is like spitting Bruce Willis in the face. :(
What? I'm one of those rare guys with real global connections who tells the FBI who the terrorists are. It's true. And I have a better body than Jack Bauer.

But I don't get in front of the camera and act all faggoty and tough do I?

I don't get it. How can you guys even stand this faker?

I demand that the TV bring back GOOD and WATCHABLE and FUN and EDUCATIVE shows like McGyver, A Team, etc. and get rid of this emotionally shallow, 100% fake cover girl.
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Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.