Here's another for you all to laugh about!

My wife's just had her first car crash today.

Mind you, she had three yesterday and two the day before.
 
Oh man, this one's terrible... hilarious, but terrible.

Everybody at work gathered around this morning, as a female colleague brought her newborn son into the office.

"Would you like to hold him, Dave?" she asked.

"I'd better not," I replied, "I'm worried that I'll hurt him."

"Don't be silly, you won't hurt him," she smiled, as she carefully laid him in my arms, "See."

Then I punched him in the face. :p
 
I accidentally dialed 999 from my mobile phone last night.

So I set my house on fire so I wouldn't look stupid.
 
Stephen Hawking had a hot date.

Unfortunately, she stood him up.

He immediately fell back down again.
 
I used to go out with a girl who was gorgeous, funny, and sexy as hell.

Then I married her.
 
But the 5 foot, 4 in, 120 pound man is very sneaky and difficult to see as well. Especially when you're not used to looking down. You giant!
 
"Crap, I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow."

"Just cancel it. Tell them you're sick." :D
 
I'll never join one of those online dating services. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way.

Through alcohol and poor judgement. Highway Man?... Was this what happened? :p
 
No I was stone cold sober when I met my wife. Her sister and brother in law were friends with my late parents. My dad had a massive heart attack whilst attending a function in Cumbria and I rushed from Liverpool to visit him in hospital. I went to the friends house to pick up my mum and the friends sister was in seeing how my dad was doing. We hit it off immediately, soon became an item and 6 months later I moved to Cumbria and we've been together ever since and that was 16 years ago. and my dad? the cantankerous old bastard survived and lived for another 15 years before an even bigger heart attack saw him off. ;)
 
All rather sensible then Highway Man. How very disappointing! ;)

If I hadn't been in N.I. during "The Troubles", me and Mrs CF would never have met. I'm still undecided as to whether that's a good thing. :lol:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top