Pacific Lure
Active member
You know you work in Corporate America if...
You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
You worked for the same company for 4 years and sat at more than 10 different desks.
You've been in the same job for 4 years and have had 10 different managers.
You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes.
When someone asks about what you do for a living, you can't explain it in one sentence.
You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
You use acronyms in your sentences.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes and photos.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
It's dark when you drive to and from work.
Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
The word "opportunity" makes you shiver in fear.
You see a good looking person and KNOW it is a visitor.
Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
Art involves a white board.
You're already late on the assignment you just got.
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cubicle and are read by your co-workers only.
Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes" or "when you're freed up".
You read this entire list and understand it.
After a 25-year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on the American Male's recreational preferences:
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.
Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure,
the smaller your balls become.
the smaller your balls become.
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