Robert
Active member
BORED HUSBAND
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. _________,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. ______, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
7. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels on his chest.
8. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
9. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where the fitting room was?
And last, but not least:
10. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. _________,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. ______, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
7. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels on his chest.
8. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
9. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where the fitting room was?
And last, but not least:
10. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'