213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to do in the US Army

29. The Irish MP's are not after "me frosted lucky charms" hahaha

My senior advisor in JROTC did not find this funny how I don't know I almost cried when I read this list.
214. Not allowed to have sudden acts of "ritual" during training session
215. I am not a dog
216. The general is not a "Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden rolled up in one body"
217. Osama Bin Laden is not to be confused with Obama
218. Your superiors have a reason to be superior than you
219. When others whistle, it is not a command for you to shoot them
220. I am not a zombie communist who has risen from the grave of Lenin
221. Elvis is dead
222. Even if the Germans were the enemies in WWII, they aren't the enemies now
223. Swiss banks are not "hidey-outs for rich crooks"
224. Saluting with you rifle drawn can get myself killed
225. Everybody does not go to hell
226. "Great" doesn't mean that you are allowed to make a wish
227. "Great" doesn't mean that you did a good or great job
228. The Fourth Amendment applies to nonmilitary civilians too
229. The 9/11 terror attacks were not works of aliens working to exterminate the human race
230. Eminem is not something you eat
231. You are not allowed to decorate tanks with signs saying "Shoot me!"
232. You are not allowed to throw cake at a reporter's face
233. You are not allowed to annoy your superiors by singing "Lemon Tree"
234. You are not a lemon tree
235. You are not allowed to force new recruits swallow sleeping pills while they are on duty
236. Your name is Skippy, not Bigfoot
237. You are not allowed to introduce yourself to new recruits as "Bigfoot"
238. The Loch Ness monster is not your friend
239. Freud and Jung were not gays
240. Zeus is not your father
241. Lawyers are not "liars"
242. When you see a history program that replays the American revolution, you are not allowed to have sudden bursts of patriotism and shoot Britains
243. The CIA doesn't stand for Central Idiot *******s
244. Brazilians and German Nazis are not always friends
245. Queen Victoria's comment "We are not amused" doesn't mean that she has to be amused by shooting her favorite dog
246. Operation Iraqi Freedom doesn't means that you can free all Iraqi prisoners
247. Percy Jackson is not your friend
248. Harry Potter does not exist
249. Countries that have red in their flags are not always communist
250. You are not allowed to use real guns in training sessions
251. Rule 251 does not exist
253. You are not allowed to pose yourself as a drug dealer and peddle drugs (sleeping pills) to new recruits
254. New recruits are not to be subjected to "harmless fun experiments designed to purify their minds"
255. New recruits are not jihadists disguised to kill you
256. "Justice" doesn't mean that you can justify yourself by killing gypsies
257. Joe the Plumber is not a member of the IRA
258. Mike the Mechanic is not a German Nazi
259. You are not allowed to kill Japanese people who visit Pearl Harbor
260. Federal prisoners are not POWs of war
261. You are not allowed to set up a new regime during training sessions
262. E=mc2 doesn't represent Eels=monkeys crap2
263. The British sausages are not to be filled with hand grenades
264. The pockets of a commanding officer is not to be filled with rodents
265. College graduates are not planning a coup to replace the US government with a communist government
how could you do all that and not get discharged:?:

Unfortunately...i believe skippy was of a size that would not permit him to enter the chamber of sufficient caliber required to discharge him in a manner his poor suffering NCOIC would have wanted...and we were short on people in Kosovo and such during that particular area because the Iraq theater became hot again...