213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to do in the US Army - Page 3




 
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Boots
 
October 6th, 2004  
cpl_clarke
 
 
too funny. this is something ill be sure to share with all my buddies.
October 13th, 2004  
beardo
 
201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.



nearly pissed myself reding this lol
October 13th, 2004  
c/Commander
 
 
2xx. Must not throw an M67 into a lake. Fish don't like it, and neither does a small boat. Talk about waves...
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Boots
October 21st, 2004  
USAFAUX2004
 
 
thats one of the best posts ever!
October 21st, 2004  
USAFAUX2004
 
 
i will print it out and store for EVER
October 24th, 2004  
bonnieblue716
 
 
I wish I could put this on my webpage, and update it. These are sooo good, but I imagine, everyone in this forum could add a few. I thought up about thirty of them just off the top of my head, and i'm just a civi.

for example: Shooting an MP in the a$$ with a concealed water gun, is one of the quickest and funest ways of getting arrested, or cussed depending on her rank.

The actual funest way is to organize and hold a mud wrestling match on the obstacle course.

When asked why I was late to my duty station, the correct response is “Sorry Sir, unaviodablely detained, it won’t happen again Sir.” Not “I had to take a s!!t”, “I was in town getting laid”, “I’m high”, “Because I felt like it”, “Just securing my rack Sir”, and “I’m late.…What the he!! time was I suppose to be here?!!!”.

Barking at a MWD just to pi$$ it off, is inmature, and is "going to comeback to bite me in the a$$ one of these days."

I'm not allowed to sing "If I Could See An Elephant Fly", durning officers PT test.

Yelling "INCOMING" while patroling in the boonies just to see who will duck and cover, makes people want to kick my a$$.

Calvary officer's no longer use horses, so any reference to a horses a$$ isn't nessecary.

A group of soldiers in woodland camo BDU's is a platoon, not "the green boys"

Making a UXO out of soda bottles, fillling it with sand to simulate black power and putting it in bed with my sleeping CO, is not and will never be considered funny.

"Call the president boys, I found a WMD", while frisking a women for weapons, is also not funny.

Spending hours trying to get the only tomb guard you've ever met to cuss is not considered a hobby.

Spending hours with the afore mentioned soldier trying to get him to "knock your God D@*n block off" is also not considered a hobby.

I'm not allowed to start a pool, or give odds on the fights that naturally seem to break out around the X-box in the WMR room.

If I'm ever so bored that I want to hide my roomates personal hygine items ever again, I should go to my CO, he will provide other forms of entainment.

Letting out a HUGE series of farts in a packed APC will get the s**t beat out of you.

Breaking the cardinal rule of not smoking in an APC, no matter how nevrous you are, will also get the s**t beat out of you, well when everyone recovers from breathing the flame retardent chemicals of the fire control system you just set off.

Ok, that's the best ones, Come'on I know y'all know some, or have heard some over the years.
October 30th, 2004  
rotc boy
 
 
that is great, i printed it out and gave it to my major. he hung it up on the wall! my principal was in the army and hes saying 10 of them everyday on the intercom now!
October 30th, 2004  
USAFAUX2004
 
 
I gave it to my friends and they all enjoyed it, even those that don't know much about the military
October 30th, 2004  
Joe252
 
ROLFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! only if my printer worked
September 15th, 2005  
tomtom22
 
 
Skippy for president!