Wife re-marrying after you die in combat?

F

Focus Fate

Active member
I'm engaged and joining the Marines and I got to thinking about what would happen to her in terms of marrying someone else if it was years after I were to die in combat. It's not like I've never thought about how I could die in combat. I know its a very real thing that can happen. But the first time for this. (A little background though, me and my fiance believe that once married we will be together for eternity. So if she got re-married to someone else obviously WE wouldn't be together for eternity.)

Now I've notice a lot of people in here who are Marines or Former Marines or anyother service for that matter have families. What do you think about this subject? Does it bother you when you think your wife might marry someone else? Have you talked to your wife about it in the past? I usually ALWAYS talk to my fiance about things that boteher me but this seems almost rude to ask her about because I DO want her to be happy, esspecially if I am gone. But it is something that bothers me. So just trying to get the opinions of the older people here. Thanks.
 
I will admit that my wife and I have yet to talk about that subject, but I am a little different than you because my wife is also in the military. So I guess I can ask myself if I would marry again if she was killed in Iraq.

It's a tough question I hope never to have to answer in real life. If I had to answer I would say yes, but it would take a lot of healing time before I could even go on a date.

It bothers me when widdowed wives of wars get married with in a few months of their husbands dying in combat. You have to wonder how true those wives really were.
 
if i'd die in combat i would certanly want my wife to continue her life after me,but just to remember me
 
When your dead your dead. Wouldnt your want your wife to be as happy as possible after you are gone because for her life must still go on.
 
Yup after you die it's her decision.
Plus I think being married either as a junior officer or as junior enlisted or even junior NCO would be VERY difficult.
 
the_13th_redneck said:
Yup after you die it's her decision.
Plus I think being married either as a junior officer or as junior enlisted or even junior NCO would be VERY difficult.
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why would it be difficult being married as lower enlisted, junior NCO or officer?

From what I have seen, it's easier to keep a marriage "happy" at those ranks. The higher up the chain you go, the more time you spend at work. After close of business formation, I get to go home as a Sergeant. My squad leader, platoon sergeant and LT have to stay later. Then when I roll into work at 0545, those people are already there. Those of high rank will have meetings on the weekends too.
 
scott.moore said:
When your dead your dead. Wouldnt your want your wife to be as happy as possible after you are gone because for her life must still go on.
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That's exactly my point of view :)
 
For soldiers on deployment, yeah I think it'd be really hard. Junior ranks more likely to get killed or wounded.
So wait, American soldiers don't stay in barracks?
 
I'll not mind if my wife remarries if I die (not in combat, though) as long as the new husband is true to her. If she'll stay widowed, then let it be.

It's just like if a woman is divorced from her husband -- will she marry again? Some do, some don't.

But I'll still worry for her in my grave (if I die).

Anyway, it's a very sad topic.. to die young.
 
Me, I'd go to scripture to make that decision.

Otherwise, I heard this from a minister once when he was trying to "lighten up" a serious topic.

There was this woman, and in her life, she had a total of 4 husbands. The second, third and fourth marriages were all after a previous husband died.

The first was a banker. The second was a film director. The third was was a minister, and the final husband was a mortician.

Many people wondered about her choice of husbands.

One day, whe a friend asked her, she responded:

"It's very simple - one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go !!"
 
well lets say you crash in a helicopter in iraq...you loose your memory and forget who you are. You are listed as M.I.A and no one knows any thing. she remarries and then somehow you are found and brought back to the states years after.
 
scott.moore said:
When your dead your dead. Wouldnt your want your wife to be as happy as possible after you are gone because for her life must still go on.
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Thats the way I felt when my wife and I had the discussion.
 
hmmmm... I think there was a JAG episode like this. lol

drilldownmaster2004 said:
well lets say you crash in a helicopter in iraq...you loose your memory and forget who you are. You are listed as M.I.A and no one knows any thing. she remarries and then somehow you are found and brought back to the states years after.
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the_13th_redneck said:
For soldiers on deployment, yeah I think it'd be really hard. Junior ranks more likely to get killed or wounded.
So wait, American soldiers don't stay in barracks?
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Of course more lower ranking soldiers are going to die. In a infantry company, there is around 1 captain, 6 LT's, 5 Sergeant First Class, 16 Staff Sergeants, 35 Sergeants, a few corporals and 75 or so lower enlisted soldiers. My numbers are most likely off a little, but you can see why there are more lower ranking soldiers killed in Iraq.

When you are married, you either have to live on or off post. As a single soldier, once you are a sergeant, you are given the option of living off base. There is no rule saying you have to live in the barracks. Some soldiers will maintain barrack room while living off post. BUT you will not get BAS or BAH unless you are married or Sergeant or higher

drilldownmaster2004 said:
well lets say you crash in a helicopter in iraq...you loose your memory and forget who you are. You are listed as M.I.A and no one knows any thing. she remarries and then somehow you are found and brought back to the states years after.
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I have not heard anything like that happen in the US military, but something like that happened to an Indian soldier 2 months ago

Freed Indian soldier finds wife remarried

NEW DELHI: An Indian soldier imprisoned by Pakistan for five years after conflict in Kashmir returned home to find his wife married to another man and pregnant, reports said on Monday. A village council has tried to settle the matter by declaring the woman’s second marriage void, triggering a public domestic battle over whether the soldier will accept the child. Mohammed Arif and Jagsir Singh had gone missing in the 1999 conflict in Kashmir’s Kargil region and the Indian army had declared them deserters...
READ MORE
 
the_13th_redneck said:
hmmmm... I think there was a JAG episode like this. lol

drilldownmaster2004 said:
well lets say you crash in a helicopter in iraq...you loose your memory and forget who you are. You are listed as M.I.A and no one knows any thing. she remarries and then somehow you are found and brought back to the states years after.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...


I think there was...maybe thats why it came to mind
 
well lets say you crash in a helicopter in iraq...you loose your memory and forget who you are. You are listed as M.I.A and no one knows any thing. she remarries and then somehow you are found and brought back to the states years after.
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That would deffinatly suck :(
 
Well I finnally asked her about it, well both. She said the only way she'd remarry would be not in a "in-love" kind of way, just in a way where someone could help with the kids (If we had any at the time I died). I asked her about the MIA thing and she was REALLY opposed to the idea of re-marrying if I was MIA. Basically her words were "Hell no! If there's a body thats one thing. But if its MIA... just no!" So I'm glad I talked to her about it :) Thanks guys
 
Time is the great healer. I think after a reasonable amount of time, a woman should not have to feel guilty about taking another husband if it's for the right reasons. If he's a good man and loves her, try for a happy life. They say the first true love stays just as strong as the first day but there is a different kind of love that begins after a time and will never be the same but nevertheless just as strong. My Mother-in-Law went through losing two husbands and she talks about both men as if they were the same man. I think that is a type of healing the heart.
 
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