Team Infidel
Forum Spin Doctor
Top Ten Signs You're Not Going To Win "American Idol"
Judges harshly critique your performance before you sing
Most of the votes you received? Wrong numbers
When you sing, that thing on Amy Winehouse's head starts yelping
Producers refuse to tell you where the finale is being held
Even Dick Cheney thinks what you do is cruel and inhumane
While talking to Ryan Seacrest, you nervously yell, "No deal, Howie!"
Every time you hit a high note, your pants fall down
No number 3 -- writer playing Grand Theft Auto 4 on XBox -- promises jokes tomorrow
Even Hillary admits you have no chance
You're so desperate, you skipped Paula and slept with Randy
Judges harshly critique your performance before you sing
Most of the votes you received? Wrong numbers
When you sing, that thing on Amy Winehouse's head starts yelping
Producers refuse to tell you where the finale is being held
Even Dick Cheney thinks what you do is cruel and inhumane
While talking to Ryan Seacrest, you nervously yell, "No deal, Howie!"
Every time you hit a high note, your pants fall down
No number 3 -- writer playing Grand Theft Auto 4 on XBox -- promises jokes tomorrow
Even Hillary admits you have no chance
You're so desperate, you skipped Paula and slept with Randy
