The Swearing Parrot

Mark Conley

Active member
There was a man who had a parrot. Now this parrot wasnt just an ordinary parrot, it was a parrot that talked. And mostly what he said was ...vulger.

He had been owned by a former Marine DI, who had taught him all the words in his vocabulary. Now he was the cause of his new owners pain. Girlfriends left him because of the swearing parrot. His mother disowned him. His rent was raised, due to the birds vocabulary. Life was miserable.

One day, the young man was in the kitchen, making his breakfast, when the parrot came in and started swearing up a storm. The young man had finally had enough: it was time to get tough with the bird.

"Parrot" he said. "One more foul thing comes out of your mouth, and your going into the freezer" The parrot just fixed a baleful yellow eye on the young man, and proceeded to describe his mother in colorful terms. "That it" the young man yelled, and it one fluid motion, grabbed the bird, opened the refrigerators freezer compartment, threw the parrot in, and slamed the door.

About five minutes later, the young man heard a knocking on the inside of the freezer door. Curious, he opened the door, and out walked the parrot, which began to speak.

"Sir, I am very aplogetic for my lanquage, which has most certainly caused you the utmost distress. I shall endevor to only speak in the future, in diction and tone that will suit your abodes decorum and rules" Now sir, if I cant be most discrete...May I enquire as to what that chicken in the freezer did to offend you?"