Tech Support. May I Help You?


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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left
of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah........ ...........thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is
there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in
apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how
do I get the circle around it?
Reminds of my days in computer tech support in South Carolina. Generally the questions weren't as intelligent as those above.

"I couldn't get on American Online last night. Was the internets down?"


Him: I can't get on the internets.
Me: Who is your service provider?
Him: My what?
Me: The company that provides you with internet AOL.
Him: You mean American Online?
Me: Sure.
Him: I don't have one.
Me: I'll help you set it up.
I walked him through various steps to install AOL and, after about 30 minutes, everything was installed, but we couldn't get a dial tone.
Me: Sir, is your computer hooked up correctly?
Him: ...
Me: Check the phone cord in the back. Plug it in the jack...yadda yadda yadda
Him: Phone cord?
Me: Right, from the phone jack in the wall to your computer modem.
Him: I don't have a telephone. Lemme run borrow my neighbor's. He's got a cordless.
Me: ...