Deep depression it seems to me Sevens or close to it. You have to kick it's butt or it will kick yours, it will win. C'mon now, you gotta get through this stuff, whatever it i smaking you like you are currently, according to your posts..
Easy enough to say when you aren't the one living it. No worries. I'll either get over it or die. Either way, no one will be around to care.