Introducing "GONZO!"

Okay, this one is hard to describe. Gonzo became angered at us, because we pulled a tiny prank on him. He brought a pillow with a white pillowcase to the field, which he had been told not to do. So while he was on guard duty at night, we removed the pillow from the case, filled the case with big sharp rocks, and padded it with just enough grass so it still looked fluffy. He comes in after a long day, sits down, takes off his gear, and throws himself backwards onto the "pillow". Teehee.
So anyway, he gets mad and decides he's not going to sleep in the tent, and takes his cot out to his wrecker. Did I mention that Gonzo was the WORST camo net erector in the world? He always had his poles at these weird angles, and this time he had two poles actually resing on the wrecker itself (which he knew not to do). So we go out the next morning to get Gonzo, and he's struggling with several hundred yards of camo net which have collapsed around him in the night, trying to free himself, but only making it worse. We helped him out. Eventually.
Yeah, but not much of one. Gonzo claimed to have partied with Nicky Sixx in California. Claims he met the dude in a mall, and they hung out for a few days. Gonzo partied at their hotel, and they got along just swell. In fact, Nicky even gave Gonzo the jacket off of his back! Yup, old Gonzo claimed to have an autographed leather jacket, signed by the members of Motley Crue. Needless to say, when asked to produce said jacket, the only thing forthcoming was an excuse: seems Gonzo had "loaned" the jacket to his ex-girlfriend, and never gotten it back.
I told Gonzo he was full of shit. He asked "Why, don't you believe I hung out with them?"
"No Gonzo, it's not that," I said, "I just don't believe you ever had a girlfriend!"