Harder for who??


Active member
Here is a question that is almost impossible to answer, but that I like to ask anyway......

When someone goes off to war, there is always someone left behind. So who is it harder for?? The person going, or the person left behind??

Before Dexter left for Iraq, it WAS harder for me...... Then the day before he left, it was harder for him..... Now that he's gone, I have no idea who it is harder for.... He keeps insisting that it is harder for me, but I do not think so.

So...... since you all are affiliated with the military, how would you answer this question?? Harder for the person going, or staying??
As you said: Impossible to answer..

I think this depends a lot on the relationship the man/woman had before the other one went abroad..
I agree, it is a hard question...but I think it is harder for the person left behind. The person that is deployed at least knows the 'loved one' is safe. The person left behind never knows from one week to the next.
As a married man I can honestly say it is much harder for my wife when she is left behind. Of course I worry, especially as she is married, but I love my job and I love my soldiers and when I am deployed I am working and concentrating on the job in hand. My wife is sat in an empty house wondering what I am doingin, if I am safe, and if my unbourne child will grow up never having met his/her father. It's not hard going away, it's what I have chosen to do. But I know it is hard for her being left behind alone.

That is why I persoannaly belive that it is a duty of the MOD/DoD to ensure life is made as easy for the wives left behind as possible, and if that means spending money on welfare then they should ensure that happens.
I have no personal experience as to war, but being gone period tends to be harder for those left behind. The one who is gone knows he/ she is safe while the one left behind has no idea what's going on.
gjc said:
It's not hard going away, it's what I have chosen to do. But I know it is hard for her being left behind alone.

Wow!! THANKS for that!! :D Dexter has never really shared many feelings on this issue as of yet, but that comment really made me see things in a new light!!

Even though I am not a wife (shoot, technically I can't even call myself a gf anymore)...... But I too have elected to stay in this thing.....
I can't really afford to provide opinions that come from actual experiences but I believe it's harder for the person being left home. I really do, and thats actually fortunate in a way.
Well......... I do agree with you guys, believe it or not....... Most of the MGs I know (MG=Military Girlfriend) think otherwise.....

But I can tell ya from my end, this deployment has been much harder for me than it has been for Dexter........
Whether it be off to war or off on a reg deployment, I think it is always harder on the one left behind. The person goin is the one that chose this lifestyle. The one here has to take care of all the normal things they would on top of the added responsibilities left from the one deployed. That just adds extra stress. I am not sayin it is easy on the person that is deployed, know that pretty well, just think it was harder on my wife.