Alarming Trend IDed by a Men's Magazine
Gentlemen, we don't mean to alarm you, but sexy Maxim magazine has filed a petition with Interior Secretary Gale A. Norton and the Fish and Wildlife Service requesting that man be declared an endangered species. Metrosexuals, pink ties, and sensitivity training have taken their toll on today's man to the point that the editors at Maxim now fear for his very existence, reports Washington Post "Reliable Source" columnist Richard Leiby. When the Post contacted those macho Maxim editors, the first thing they said was "This is no joke." And it's not! The 12-page document filed with Interior is valid. Here's the argument: Without a listing under the Endangered Species Act of 1973, "Man will surely succumb to the ravages of an effeminate, feng shui world-gone-mad." The petition further noted that man is the only species capable of "converting simple grains into courage-boosting Tennessee whiskey" and "making cowboy boots out of other animals."
Here are your tax dollars at work:
The federal employees at the Interior Department have every intention of taking this petition seriously. There's even a precedent. In 1987, the Samish Indian Tribe wanted to protect as a "population" the species Homo sapiens. The Post reports that in a weird coincidence the Interior Department attorney handling the response was Gale Norton, who is now the secretary of the Interior. Her response: Wild animals are "wild by nature" and "because of habit, mode of life, or natural instinct, are incapable of being completely domesticated, and require the exercise of art, force or skill to keep them in subjection. It cannot be said that Homo sapiens as a whole are not 'domesticated.'"
Gentlemen, we don't mean to alarm you, but sexy Maxim magazine has filed a petition with Interior Secretary Gale A. Norton and the Fish and Wildlife Service requesting that man be declared an endangered species. Metrosexuals, pink ties, and sensitivity training have taken their toll on today's man to the point that the editors at Maxim now fear for his very existence, reports Washington Post "Reliable Source" columnist Richard Leiby. When the Post contacted those macho Maxim editors, the first thing they said was "This is no joke." And it's not! The 12-page document filed with Interior is valid. Here's the argument: Without a listing under the Endangered Species Act of 1973, "Man will surely succumb to the ravages of an effeminate, feng shui world-gone-mad." The petition further noted that man is the only species capable of "converting simple grains into courage-boosting Tennessee whiskey" and "making cowboy boots out of other animals."
Here are your tax dollars at work:
The federal employees at the Interior Department have every intention of taking this petition seriously. There's even a precedent. In 1987, the Samish Indian Tribe wanted to protect as a "population" the species Homo sapiens. The Post reports that in a weird coincidence the Interior Department attorney handling the response was Gale Norton, who is now the secretary of the Interior. Her response: Wild animals are "wild by nature" and "because of habit, mode of life, or natural instinct, are incapable of being completely domesticated, and require the exercise of art, force or skill to keep them in subjection. It cannot be said that Homo sapiens as a whole are not 'domesticated.'"