Somewhere in a norwegian wood late october 1996:

2nd lt: I like your big brown eyes but that does not entitle you to sleep in a tent tonight, corporal.

Cpl: Well do you think I give up my nice wet foxhole for sharing tent with you? I already have a hard-on for tonight.

2nd lt: You sick bastard, you're sicker than me. I no longer like your brown eyes.

Cpl: Thank you 2nd lt, I guess I made it on your shit list?

2nd lt: More on my CS gas list for the night - dismissed.

"A top is toy that spins around on a flat surface. I am a First Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps!!!!!! "
1st Sgt Hq Co. 1st Marine Regiment

"Sorry First Sergeant"
Intimated PFC (ME).

My ex chief once said "Act your age, not your I.Q.!"

I'm a civi so I obvisouly don't have a CO to qoute, but we Rednecks down south get chewed out royally from our bosses. So here's a few:
" You wouldn't know how to tell your a$$ from a hole in the sand!"
" I swear you don't even know how to piss a hole in the snow!"
oh and for those of you who are wondering, rednecks have good comebacks, well when we're not drunk. lol
"I guess it's true about what they say about bosses."
"hmmm"
"when you spell boss backwards, it leaves you with double SOB!"

lol, be sure you have a good plan to get your boss so trashed after that, that they don't remember you saying it, by the next morning. Well at least if you want to keep your job.

The Sergeant-Major on my Junior Leader's Course used to chew us out without cursing...unless he got really angry.

"You dozey swine! You horrible, horrible lttle man! What are you trying to do to me?" (watching some very poorly executed drill)

"You two village idiots are on your way to jail!" (directed at me and Danberg for poorly executed drill)

Directed at some young officers who were slacking their drill:
"Until you two gentlemen put half the effort into your marching that my men are, I respectfully request you kindly get your [posteriors] off my parade square!"

When a Franco student started giving drill to all of us in French:
"What the h*ll was that?!? I only speak two languages: English -- and profane!"

We also had one student who had an arm abnormality -- his elbows would not straighten...he had a permanent 15-degree kink in them. It used to drive the DI's bats. This was heard on our grad parade dress rehearsal:
SSM: "You! You dozey swine! Straighten those arms!"
Poor SOB: "They don't straighten any futher, Sir!"
SSM: "Course Sergeant! Break that man's elbows and re-set them!"

Ah, the memories...

J.

"You have excellent potential to become an average officer."

What the hell is that?!

Officer at encampment: "Cadet, why won't you just grow up?"
me (an airman): "With all due respect, sir, I don't want to end up like you." (He was p ed, but he couldn't do anything because we were in civvies and the encampment commander told him to let it go )

"Ball choppers" (said to cadets during drill to see if they keep a straight face, works 97% of the time)

"I have no intentions of becoming just another officer, sir" (NCO academy when asked when we planned on becoming CAP cadet officers)

My Sgt always has a few sayings that we get a kick out of, these are just a few.....
" It's not my fault I'm crazy, I was born this way"
" The war is coming"
" The life is tough" (this one is always oozing with sarcasm)
" It's not normal to be ugly at your age. Me, it's normal I have this kind of face, I've been hit in my face with an Easton bat"

Don't let your battleship mouth overload your rowboat ass!

Shit (talk) like that can make your lips hurt boy!

Ex boss: You need to show me a little respect! (also a good friend)
Me: I already show you as little as possible.

I have to say, no matter what arguement the military or civilians make about being "An Army Of One" is Patton's quote:

"An Army is a team, it lives together, trains together and fights together. All this indivduality stuff is a bunch of b******t" --Gen. Patton