Woman




 
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Boots
 
March 2nd, 2006  
AmericanSweetheart
 
 

Topic: Woman


I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam I don't brag to my buddies about my erections I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown and I know how to put the damned toilet seat down!

I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt my belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut and I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notch I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind

I'm a woman you see -- I'm just not that kind! I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing I don't have body hair like shag carpeting It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack

And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side

I'm a woman, you know -- I've got far too much pride! And I honestly think its a privilege for me to have these two boobs and squat when I pee I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal I won't tell you my wife just does not understand stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!

Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see you can forget all about that old ***** envy I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's true I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!
March 2nd, 2006  
behemoth79
 
 
uhhh yeah.
good.
and such.
March 3rd, 2006  
armlesscadet
 
 
few things straight if it itches we scratch it, u dont have to worry about losing your hair and going bald, and Columbus didnt need directions neither do we...o ya if you expect the toilate seet down we expect it up.
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Boots
March 3rd, 2006  
Missileer
 
 
I'm sending this to your boyfriend, unless, of course, a few Milbucks find their way to my account.
March 3rd, 2006  
Marinerhodes
 
 
There is the thing about women going to hair salons, bathrooms together, Oprah Winfrey, Dr Phil and myriad other things women do that makes me glad I am a MAN !!
March 4th, 2006  
armlesscadet
 
 
HEY! dont say anything bad about Dr Phil or Oprah dont even think it...but ya the whole bathroom thing together and all that is creepy specialy when u know its you they are talking about
March 6th, 2006  
AmericanSweetheart
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by armlesscadet
HEY! dont say anything bad about Dr Phil or Oprah dont even think it...but ya the whole bathroom thing together and all that is creepy specialy when u know its you they are talking about
Yes it is you their talking about and no its not good!
March 6th, 2006  
armlesscadet
 
 
umm not usualy and yes it is me they are talking about everybody is talking about me lol its good sumtimes when its a hot chick and her best friend and they both like you tho
March 7th, 2006  
Marinerhodes
 
 
Who says they like you when they are talking about you? haven't you seen the movies? They smile at you but they are talking trash about you.
March 8th, 2006  
armlesscadet
 
 
i'll tell you who i got alot of chick friends that i send to the bathroom to see if they are talking about me and that way i know what they are doing to