TOP 8 MORONS OF 2011




 
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TOP 8 MORONS OF 2011
 
November 14th, 2011  
tomtom22
 
 

Topic: TOP 8 MORONS OF 2011


TOP 8 MORONS OF 2011
TOP 8 MORONS OF 2011

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter
who's lacking intelligence.


2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS.

Police in Oakland , CA , spent two hours attempting to subdue
a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After
firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man
was standing beside them in the police line, shouting,
'Please come out and give yourself up.'


3. WHAT WAS PLAN B?

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist
and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,
wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts!


4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all
the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small,
so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three
hours until police showed up and grabbed him.



5. DID I SAY THAT?

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each
man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or
I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'


6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart'.
'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked.
'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'


7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!

In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to
hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a
thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to
keep his hand in his pocket. ( hellooooooo )!



8. THE GRAND FINALE!

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert
an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks new to boating, were
having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost
every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After
about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina,
thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working
condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and
the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina
guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking
on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was their trailer!
November 14th, 2011  
muscogeemike
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tomtom22
TOP 8 MORONS OF 2011

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter
who's lacking intelligence.


2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS.

Police in Oakland , CA , spent two hours attempting to subdue
a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After
firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man
was standing beside them in the police line, shouting,
'Please come out and give yourself up.'


3. WHAT WAS PLAN B?

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist
and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,
wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts!


4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all
the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small,
so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three
hours until police showed up and grabbed him.



5. DID I SAY THAT?

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each
man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or
I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'


6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart'.
'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked.
'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'


7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!

In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to
hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a
thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to
keep his hand in his pocket. ( hellooooooo )!



8. THE GRAND FINALE!

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert
an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks new to boating, were
having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost
every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After
about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina,
thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working
condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and
the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina
guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking
on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was their trailer!

If I didn't believe that most people were, indeed, stupid - I'd ask for your sources!
Thanks for the laugh, its been a bad day and I needed this.
November 15th, 2011  
viper2007
 
 
Humans... we can sometimes surprise even us, yes?
--
TOP 8 MORONS OF 2011
November 15th, 2011  
Team Infidel
 
 
November 16th, 2011  
eTe
 
 
Mythbusters tested the validity of that last one.
Was hilarious.
November 19th, 2011  
RedCarousel
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tomtom22
8. THE GRAND FINALE!

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert
an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks new to boating, were
having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost
every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After
about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina,
thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working
condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and
the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina
guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking
on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was their trailer! [/FONT][/COLOR]
LMAO! This bit made my day. Thanks for the laugh
November 22nd, 2011  
84RFK
 
 
Oh my....securely strapped to the trailer..
 


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