Speeding




 
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Boots
 
February 17th, 2005  
pixiedustboo
 
 

Topic: Speeding


*An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...



Older Woman: * Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: * Ma'am, you were speeding.


Older Woman: * Oh, I see.

Officer: * Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: * Don't have one?

Older Woman: * Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: * I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: * I can't do that.

Officer: * Why not?

Older Woman: * I stole this car.

Officer: * Stole it?

Older Woman: * Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: * You what?

Older Woman: * His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.



Officer 2: * Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: * Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: * One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: * Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: * Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: * Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: * Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: * One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: * Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: * Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
* * * * * * * * *



*MORAL:

Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies
February 17th, 2005  
AFSteliga
 
 
I've heard this one so many times, only replace the old lady with Marines, pilots, etc...

Still good though.
February 18th, 2005  
Charge 7
 
 
Sorry Serenity, but that joke was already told a year and a half ago here:

http://www.military-quotes.com/forum...?t=241&start=0
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Boots
February 18th, 2005  
pixiedustboo
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charge_7
Sorry Serenity, but that joke was already told a year and a half ago here:

http://www.military-quotes.com/forum...?t=241&start=0
Thanks...but I hope you don't think that I'm going to be making sure I don't double up on things from a year and half ago. 'Cause it "ain't" gonna happen babe.


Serenity
February 18th, 2005  
Charge 7
 
 
No problem...


....as long as you don't mind your thread getting locked.
February 18th, 2005  
Redleg
 
 
No problem, it's a great one anyway..
February 18th, 2005  
Italian Guy
 
 
Yeah just figure the first cop's face!
February 18th, 2005  
pixiedustboo
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charge_7
No problem...


....as long as you don't mind your thread getting locked.
Eeee!


Serenity
February 19th, 2005  
Charge 7
 
 
Don't worry, el Supremo has cut you some slack
February 19th, 2005  
A Can of Man
 
 
First time I read it