5.56X45mm
Milforum Mac Daddy
Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and
I can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is
effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about
foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual,
homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue,
green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban
and suburban world!
Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell
"ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the
culture Wars, the Retrosexual movement. "
The Code :
1. A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.
2. A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that
fit that term only because they are female.
3. A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your
home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
4. A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
5. A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how
long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking
cigars and drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you
are a god.
6. A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman.
Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an
endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)
7. A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30
years old.
8. A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if
need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.
9. A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.
10. A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house
on national TV.
11. A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness
for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will
only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long
run, she ain't worth it.
12. A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major
mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire
family in a freak wood chipper accident, favorite sports team being
moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are
NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough
attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he
DEALT with you.
13. A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe
designed to conceal himself from prey.
14. A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie
-- and ONLY a Windsor knot.
15. A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.
16. A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't
hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you
can -- or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.
17. A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are
riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH
IT. Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those
people or things that just need a little "wakin' up".
18. Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and
none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas.
Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method
of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a
Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved
one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of
a major body part, or loss of major body part on your Ford truck.
19. When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train,
and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands
up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other
so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look
on his face.
20. A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the
correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the
Star Spangled Banner. A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his
wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his
manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he
suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship -
i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car
maintenance.
21. A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.
22. A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (Heck, like a blizzard)
without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and
without high-centering his ride in a snow bank.
23. A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he
wants. Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land.
Except on his truck--that would happen because of a "force of nature",
and then the retrosexual man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL with IT,
or do both.
24. A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women
but any elderly person or person in military dress. NOTE: The person
in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will
ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their
country.
25. A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good
enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change
or the other person deceived him.
26. A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he
does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes
in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT!
27. A Retrosexual man still address any adult male I don't know as "sir" and any adult female I don't know as "ma'am" until I either know a better salutation or find out they didn't deserve the first one.
28. A Retrosexual man always urinate standing up, never sitting down.
I can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is
effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about
foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual,
homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue,
green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban
and suburban world!
Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell
"ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the
culture Wars, the Retrosexual movement. "
The Code :
1. A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.
2. A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that
fit that term only because they are female.
3. A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your
home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
4. A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
5. A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how
long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking
cigars and drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you
are a god.
6. A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman.
Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an
endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)
7. A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30
years old.
8. A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if
need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.
9. A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.
10. A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house
on national TV.
11. A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness
for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will
only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long
run, she ain't worth it.
12. A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major
mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire
family in a freak wood chipper accident, favorite sports team being
moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are
NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough
attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he
DEALT with you.
13. A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe
designed to conceal himself from prey.
14. A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie
-- and ONLY a Windsor knot.
15. A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.
16. A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't
hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you
can -- or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.
17. A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are
riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH
IT. Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those
people or things that just need a little "wakin' up".
18. Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and
none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas.
Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method
of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a
Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved
one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of
a major body part, or loss of major body part on your Ford truck.
19. When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train,
and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands
up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other
so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look
on his face.
20. A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the
correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the
Star Spangled Banner. A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his
wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his
manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he
suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship -
i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car
maintenance.
21. A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.
22. A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (Heck, like a blizzard)
without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and
without high-centering his ride in a snow bank.
23. A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he
wants. Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land.
Except on his truck--that would happen because of a "force of nature",
and then the retrosexual man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL with IT,
or do both.
24. A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women
but any elderly person or person in military dress. NOTE: The person
in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will
ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their
country.
25. A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good
enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change
or the other person deceived him.
26. A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he
does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes
in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT!
27. A Retrosexual man still address any adult male I don't know as "sir" and any adult female I don't know as "ma'am" until I either know a better salutation or find out they didn't deserve the first one.
28. A Retrosexual man always urinate standing up, never sitting down.