Religious Jokes

Religious Jokes
December 7th, 2014  

Topic: Religious Jokes

Religious Jokes
Four nuns were standing in line at the gates of heaven.
Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned.
"Well, once I looked at a man's p****," she said.
"Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her.
Peter then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned.
"Well, once I held a man's p****," she replied.
"Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said.
Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun.
Peter asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?"
She said, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!"

A boy and a girl sat in Sunday school and the teacher asked "Who died for our sins?"
And the boy poked the girl in the butt with a pin and the girl shouted "Jesus Christ"
And the teacher said good next the teacher asked "Who created the world?"
And the boy poked the girl again and she shouted "God"
And the teacher said good the last question the teacher asked was "What did Eve say to Adam after they had their twenty-seventh child?"
Then the boy poked her with the pin again and she shouted "If you stick that thing in me again ill break it in half."

A catholic school teacher was teaching a lesson one morning and asked his students where Jesus was.
"Yes Susie" he said as he called on Susie whose hand was raised.
"He's in heaven!" She shouted with pride.

He called on Steven who said "He was in his heart"
The only boy left with his hand raised with had the most unusual answer "He's in my bathroom!"

Everyone had a puzzled look on his/her face.
"Yeah!" Said the boy.. "My father bangs on the door every morning saying 'Jesus Christ, ya still in there?"

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