The Highway Man
Brit Pack 2I/C
A nun walks into Mother
Superior's office and
plunks down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy
with frustration.
'What troubles you, Sister?'
asked the Mother Superior.
'I thought this was the day
you spent with your
family.'
'It was,' sighed the Sister.
'And I went to play golf
with my brother.
We try to play golf as often
as we can. You know I was
quite a talented golfer
before I devoted my life to
Christ.'
'I seem to recall that,' the
Mother Superior agreed.
'So I take it your day of
recreation was not
relaxing?'
'Far from it,' snorted the
Sister. 'In fact, I even took
the Lord's name in vain
today!'
'Goodness, Sister!' gasped
the Mother Superior,
astonished. 'You must tell
me all about it!'
'Well, we were on the fifth
tee...and this hole is a
monster, Mother -540 yard
Par 5, with a nasty dogleg
right and a hidden
green...and I
hit the drive of my life. I
creamed it. The sweetest
swing I ever made.
And it's flying straight and
true, right along the line I
wanted...and it hits a bird
in mid-flight !'
'Oh my!' commiserated the
Mother. 'How unfortunate!
But surely that didn't make
you blaspheme, Sister!'
'No, that wasn't it,'
admitted Sister. 'While I
was still trying to fathom
what had happened, this
squirrel runs out of the
woods, grabs
my ball and runs off down
the fairway!'
'Oh, that would have made
me blaspheme!'
sympathised the Mother.
'But I didn't, Mother!'
sobbed the Sister. 'And I
was so proud of myself!
And while I was pondering
whether this was a sign
from God,
this hawk swoops out of
the sky and grabs the
squirrel and flies off, with
my ball still clutched in his
paws!'
'So that's when you
cursed,' said the Mother
with a knowing smile.
'Nope, that wasn't it
either,' cried the Sister,
anguished, 'because as the
hawk started to fly out of
sight,
The squirrel started
struggling, and the hawk
dropped him right there on
the green, and the ball
popped out of his paws
and rolled to about
18 inches from the cup!'
Mother Superior sat back
in her chair, folded her
arms across her chest,
fixed the Sister with a
baleful stare and said...
'You missed the fecking putt,
didn't you?'...
Superior's office and
plunks down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy
with frustration.
'What troubles you, Sister?'
asked the Mother Superior.
'I thought this was the day
you spent with your
family.'
'It was,' sighed the Sister.
'And I went to play golf
with my brother.
We try to play golf as often
as we can. You know I was
quite a talented golfer
before I devoted my life to
Christ.'
'I seem to recall that,' the
Mother Superior agreed.
'So I take it your day of
recreation was not
relaxing?'
'Far from it,' snorted the
Sister. 'In fact, I even took
the Lord's name in vain
today!'
'Goodness, Sister!' gasped
the Mother Superior,
astonished. 'You must tell
me all about it!'
'Well, we were on the fifth
tee...and this hole is a
monster, Mother -540 yard
Par 5, with a nasty dogleg
right and a hidden
green...and I
hit the drive of my life. I
creamed it. The sweetest
swing I ever made.
And it's flying straight and
true, right along the line I
wanted...and it hits a bird
in mid-flight !'
'Oh my!' commiserated the
Mother. 'How unfortunate!
But surely that didn't make
you blaspheme, Sister!'
'No, that wasn't it,'
admitted Sister. 'While I
was still trying to fathom
what had happened, this
squirrel runs out of the
woods, grabs
my ball and runs off down
the fairway!'
'Oh, that would have made
me blaspheme!'
sympathised the Mother.
'But I didn't, Mother!'
sobbed the Sister. 'And I
was so proud of myself!
And while I was pondering
whether this was a sign
from God,
this hawk swoops out of
the sky and grabs the
squirrel and flies off, with
my ball still clutched in his
paws!'
'So that's when you
cursed,' said the Mother
with a knowing smile.
'Nope, that wasn't it
either,' cried the Sister,
anguished, 'because as the
hawk started to fly out of
sight,
The squirrel started
struggling, and the hawk
dropped him right there on
the green, and the ball
popped out of his paws
and rolled to about
18 inches from the cup!'
Mother Superior sat back
in her chair, folded her
arms across her chest,
fixed the Sister with a
baleful stare and said...
'You missed the fecking putt,
didn't you?'...