MORE SR. CITIZEN STORIES




 
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MORE SR. CITIZEN STORIES
 
May 22nd, 2007  
Missileer
 
 

Topic: MORE SR. CITIZEN STORIES


MORE SR. CITIZEN STORIES
A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) Very well dressed. Hair well
groomed. Great looking suit Flower in his lapel.
Smelling slightly of a good after shave
Presenting a well looked-after image
Walks into an upscale cocktail lounge
Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties).
The gentleman walks over Sits alongside of her.
Orders a drink
Takes a sip
Turns to her and says.
"So tell me, do I come here often?"

<<<<<<< <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He
went to see a Ophthalmologist. The doctor was able to have him fitted for a
set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly
gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your
hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear
again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around
and listen to the conversations.
I've changed my will three times!"

<<<<<<< <<<<<<< <<<<<<<

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under
a tree when one turns to the other and says:
"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know
you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're
getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naaa, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three old guys are out walking.

First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!
"Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me
$4,000.00 it's state of the art and perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days
later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young
woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and
said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
cheerful.'
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be
careful.'"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor. He pulled himself
slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a
banana split.
The waitress asked kindly,
"Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis."
May 22nd, 2007  
Team Infidel
 
 
senior moment jokes... love'em
March 12th, 2009  
tomtom22
 
 


Some of that coming true for me.
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MORE SR. CITIZEN STORIES
March 12th, 2009  
AB_Shorts_Momma
 
 
LOL!
March 12th, 2009  
Sevens
 
 
Those are awesome.
 


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