a job application..




 
--
a job application..
 
February 8th, 2008  
Team Infidel
 
 

Topic: a job application..


a job application..
This is the greatest application ....what a guy!!! He should live to be a really old fella with that attitude!


This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in
Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME
: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX
: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who
will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION
: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available . If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY
: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION
: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD
: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY
: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT
: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING
: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK
: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS
: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER
?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 lbs.?:
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION
?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes,

so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE
?: On the job - no!
On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS
?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel

who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE
....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?:
Oh yes, absolutely.



***Old People Rock! ***
February 8th, 2008  
A Can of Man
 
 
Oh man this guy's great.
February 8th, 2008  
LeEnfield
 
 
I remember answering a reference for one of our ex member of staff, I replied that "if this man ever works for you will be very lucky" I don't the chap got the job and we were pleased to see the back of him.
--
a job application..
February 8th, 2008  
The Other Guy
 
 
I love it!
February 9th, 2008  
Sevens
 
 
That's awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 9th, 2008  
A Can of Man
 
 
I'd hire him, then fire him, just for s**ts and giggles.
 


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