George Carlin's views on aging ...




 
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George Carlin's views on aging ...
 
March 29th, 2006  
Chief Bones
 
 

Topic: George Carlin's views on aging ...


George Carlin's views on aging ...
Sorry for the humongous print and all of the cutesy colors ... this is the way I received this from a friend ... it's awfully long ... but it is full of humor.

George Carlin's views on aging.

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.


"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!"

You're never thirty-six and a half.
You're four and a half, going on five!


That's the key.


You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
You jump to the next number ... or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!"
You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life
you become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony . . .
YOU BECOME 21.

YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30.

Oooohh
what happened there?
Makes you sound like bad milk.
He
TURNED; we had to throw him out.

There's no fun now.
You're just a sour-dumpling.

What's wrong?
What's changed?

You
BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.
Whoa!

Put on the brakes .. it's all slipping away.
Before you know it, you
REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!!

You
MAKE IT to 60.
You didn't think you would!

So you
BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE ITto 60.

You've built up so much speed that you
HIT 70!
After that it's a day-by-day thing; you
HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle;
you
HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn't end there
Into the 90s, you start going backwards ...

"I Was
JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens.
If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.

"I'm 100 and a half!"


May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!



.
HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1.
Throw out nonessential numbers.

This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.
That is why you pay "them!"

2.
Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.

3.
Keep learning.

Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain idle.

"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."

And the devil's name is
Alzheimer's.
.

4.
Enjoy the simple things.

.
5. Laugh often ... long and loud.

Laugh until you gasp for breath.

.

6.
The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.

Be ALIVE
while you are alive.
.

7.
Surround yourself with what you love ..
whether it's . family, pets, keepsakes,
music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.

.

8.
Cherish your health.
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

.

9.
Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall ... even to the next county .
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.
Tell the people you love that you love them .

at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


And if you don't bring this to at least 8 people's attention ..

Who Cares!

But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day.
March 29th, 2006  
AFSteliga
 
 
Nice
March 29th, 2006  
Marinerhodes
 
 
Seen it before and there is lots of good advice there 8)
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George Carlin's views on aging ...
April 1st, 2006  
tomtom22
 
 
Seen it b4, but still good.
January 8th, 2007  
Team Infidel
 
 
that's a good one
January 8th, 2007  
Sevens
 
 
That's cool!
January 8th, 2007  
Rob Henderson
 
 
Funny, and good advice too.
July 11th, 2008  
tomtom22
 
 
Bump..........
July 11th, 2008  
A Can of Man
 
 
The thought of expiring in old age is somewhat terrifying.
July 12th, 2008  
Insomniac
 
 
keep your mind active; it's been proven to hold alzheimer's at bay.

happened to my great-aunt-annie. she had alzheimer's, we'd give her magazines and it slowed it right down