Aunt Mildred




 
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Boots
 
February 14th, 2012  
jillyz12
 
 

Topic: Aunt Mildred


Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, 'Your heart would be just below your left breast'.


Later that night....... Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
February 14th, 2012  
viper2007
 
 
Whoaaa! That bad, huh...
February 14th, 2012  
BritinAfrica
 
 
Now that's baddddddddddddddd lolololol
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Boots
February 14th, 2012  
Trooper1854
 
 
Did some CPR training for the Police once.
Told them the hands should be placed in the centre of an imaginary line drawn through the nipples.
This older female officer laughed out loud and said that meant putting hands on her crutch!
February 14th, 2012  
viper2007
 
 
I always tell this joke when we teach CPR to the public...

Another one is this-

This happened when I was an instructor for a CPR AED provider class. The group that consist of Bangladeshi worker- our foreign talents.

The scenario given was this- a 40 year old woman had just collapse in front of you, what would be the steps taken with regards to the use of the AED.

This Bangladeshi guy proceeded as trained. When it came to handling the shaver, he went on as he was taught. I interjected and reminded him that this casualty is a woman- so does he really need to shave any hair on the chest? He said yes, he would.

My next question to him was, "How many 40 year old woman you've met that had hair on her chest?", with a you-know-what-I-mean smile...

His answer was this, "Saar, you've probably have not the pleasure of the close company of MY countrywoman...".

I don't know if he was pulling a fast one on me, nor do I want to find out. Needless to say, the whole group was roaring in laughter!
February 19th, 2012  
Team Infidel
 
 
 


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