Actually three of them:
Two kids write their wishlist for christmas, both pretty long.
On Christmas day, one kid gets all the things on his list, the other one only a few.
Says the first one: "Guess who's their favourite kid?"
Says the other: "Guess who's got cancer?"
---
A man stands on the house top of a factory building, smoking a cig. Another one joins him. They stand there silently and smoke. After a minute the first man starts "You see that exhaust ventilator down there? It's so strong, you could jump off the building here and would get carried back up by the lift."
Says the other one "I highly doubt that."
"No really, I've seen it happen and I've even done it myself once" he replies.
"Well then go ahead do it again!"
The first man hesitates. "Well... ok I'll do it. Just so that you know I'm not a liar!" He quickly takes a run-up and jumps. The other man watches him horrified as he falls down but then about on level with the third storey he slows down and actually gets carried up again.
"You see?" he says as he rearranges his tie.
Says the second man "That's amazing! Woah... I mean how cool is that? I'll do it myself." He takes a run-up too, jumps, crashes on the ground and is immediately dead. The first man then jumps down again, smoothly touches down on the ground and walks to a bar nearby. He sits down and orders a beer. "You do that fan trick again, do you?" the bartender says. He nods.
"You know superman, sometimes you really are an *******."
---
After a date, a guy brings his girlfriend home to her family's apartment house.
They stand in the entrance holding hands. He feels horny so he leans against the wall, pulls her close to himself and says "Darling would you do something really ballsy for me."
She: "I dunno... what is it?"
He: "Would you give me *******?"
She (horrified): "Are you crazy? What if my parents see us?"
He: "Come on.. it's late nobody will see."
She: "No, please. Do you know how embarrassing that would be for me?"
He: "But I love you so much!"
She: "So do I but I can't do THAT!"
He: "Of course you can just..."
Suddenly the lights are turned on and the girl's little sister comes down the stairs, wearing a pyjama.
She: "Sweetheart, what are you doing here you should be sleeping?"
Sis: "I did. Pa sent me. He says buck up and blow him. If not Ma can come done and do it for you. He'll even do it himself, anything to make that moron get off the doorbell."
Two kids write their wishlist for christmas, both pretty long.
On Christmas day, one kid gets all the things on his list, the other one only a few.
Says the first one: "Guess who's their favourite kid?"
Says the other: "Guess who's got cancer?"
---
A man stands on the house top of a factory building, smoking a cig. Another one joins him. They stand there silently and smoke. After a minute the first man starts "You see that exhaust ventilator down there? It's so strong, you could jump off the building here and would get carried back up by the lift."
Says the other one "I highly doubt that."
"No really, I've seen it happen and I've even done it myself once" he replies.
"Well then go ahead do it again!"
The first man hesitates. "Well... ok I'll do it. Just so that you know I'm not a liar!" He quickly takes a run-up and jumps. The other man watches him horrified as he falls down but then about on level with the third storey he slows down and actually gets carried up again.
"You see?" he says as he rearranges his tie.
Says the second man "That's amazing! Woah... I mean how cool is that? I'll do it myself." He takes a run-up too, jumps, crashes on the ground and is immediately dead. The first man then jumps down again, smoothly touches down on the ground and walks to a bar nearby. He sits down and orders a beer. "You do that fan trick again, do you?" the bartender says. He nods.
"You know superman, sometimes you really are an *******."
---
After a date, a guy brings his girlfriend home to her family's apartment house.
They stand in the entrance holding hands. He feels horny so he leans against the wall, pulls her close to himself and says "Darling would you do something really ballsy for me."
She: "I dunno... what is it?"
He: "Would you give me *******?"
She (horrified): "Are you crazy? What if my parents see us?"
He: "Come on.. it's late nobody will see."
She: "No, please. Do you know how embarrassing that would be for me?"
He: "But I love you so much!"
She: "So do I but I can't do THAT!"
He: "Of course you can just..."
Suddenly the lights are turned on and the girl's little sister comes down the stairs, wearing a pyjama.
She: "Sweetheart, what are you doing here you should be sleeping?"
Sis: "I did. Pa sent me. He says buck up and blow him. If not Ma can come done and do it for you. He'll even do it himself, anything to make that moron get off the doorbell."
