7 things women do that drive men mad




 
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7 things women do that drive men mad
 
June 1st, 2012  
BritinBritain
 
 

Topic: 7 things women do that drive men mad


7 things women do that drive men mad
Annoying female habit 1:

Making an anniversary out of everything
What is it with women turning the nice little things in life into a grand gift-exchanging, champagne-popping ceremony? We return home from a normal day at work to be met with a candle-lit dinner and an expensive looking gift but, quite frankly, it makes our heart stop. Have you done something wrong? Is it your birthday? My birthday? Oh silly me, it’s the anniversary of the first time we looked at each other. Please refrain from doing this, ladies. We have a hard enough time getting event dates right without being shouted at for not buying the dog a card to celebrate the anniversary of his first vaccination.

Annoying female habit 2: Piling the bed with cushions

One would be mistaken for thinking that a bed is for sleeping in. We go to get our head down for the night, only to find the bed piled sky-high with strategically placed cushions that leave no room for us. What’s more, only a couple of these cushions actually have a purpose. We don’t need the tiny heart-shaped one or the big fluffy one that makes us sneeze – just a normal pillow to rest our head on will suffice. We don’t adorn the bed with DIY tools and model cars, so please tame your OCD (Obsessive Cushion Disorder) and stop making an elaborate display out of our bed so we can get down to the important stuff.

Annoying female habit 3: Asking us what we’re thinking.

It’s a classic example of how women like to test us, and possibly trick us into making the cardinal sin of admitting that we weren’t thinking about her at that particular moment. One minute we’re enjoying a cuddle, the next they’re hurling that question at us when we’re least expecting it. They say it so fast that we don’t have chance to make up a false reply or even to think straight, which leads us to stutter and then be accused of thinking of our ex. Asking what we’re thinking is basically a nice way of saying ‘you aren’t allowed to have private thoughts, unless they’re about me’.

Annoying female habit 4: Saying ‘I’m fine’, when you’re not happy.

So she stood in front of the television while the football was on, we got a bit iffy and snapped, and now all sorts of issues have been bought up. Then she says it – that passive-aggressive statement that marks the start of the dreaded silent treatment: “I’m fine”. Erm, are you really fine because you’ve just screamed at us until you’ve gone red in the face, and now you’re laying face down on the bed crying. If you’re unhappy just outline the problem and then we can sort it out and carry on as normal. Or – even better – don’t outline the problem and let us watch the football in peace.

Annoying female habit 5:* Using sex as a weapon.

One of the most annoying things that a woman can do is deny her man of sexual privileges. Some women seem to take great pleasure in using our weakness to their own advantage through the classic ‘if you don’t do this, we’re not having sex’ scenario. If you’re going to stop us from doing one thing, please don’t let it be sex. We don’t stop you from eating and drinking, so please don’t mess with our basic human needs either.

Annoying female habit 6: Being over-emotional.

You cry at funerals, you cry at weddings, you cry at happy films, you cry at sad films. This makes us feel awkward because we just don’t know what to say or do when you’re sat sobbing all over our freshly ironed shirt. Where do all these tears come from? We think women should just have an annual crying day where they get together and cry for twenty four hours, before coming home and being normal for the other 364 days of the year. It would solve a lot of our problems.

Annoying female habit 7: Incessant talking.

We’ve heard that women are estimated to say around 20, 000 words a day – which is an awful lot compared to the paltry 7, 000 estimated for men – so we understand that she needs to get her daily nattering fix, but why is it always at the most inappropriate times? She was quiet all the way through the family dinner when we needed her to break the awkward silence, but as soon as we start getting to the competitive part of a multi-player game with our friends, she just won’t shut up about how cute the neighbour’s cat looks when it sits next to the rose bush. To make it even more annoying, the actual part of the story she was getting at whilst rambling on about the neighbour’s cat, was that the cat’s owner now works at the grocery store down the road. Ladies, if you’re going to talk, pick the right moment and please, just get to the point.

My own personal favourite:-

When she says, "If you don't know what's wrong, I'm not telling you!!!!"
June 1st, 2012  
Freyja
 

Topic: 7 things men do that drive women mad


Annoying male habit 1: Adjusting your private parts

The day that women discover the secret to a man’s love for fiddling with his private parts will be a joyous occasion. Surely that much scratching and re-adjusting can’t be good for you; why hasn’t someone invented a cure for this frustrating problem by now? The image of a man lying on the sofa with his manhood in one hand and a bag of... well, nuts in the other, certainly won’t make it into a list of women’s top 10 sexual fantasies any time soon. Whilst we understand you sometimes need to ‘sort the boys out’ for comfort purposes, at least do it while we’re not looking.

Annoying male habit 2: Selective hearing

Choosing to watch the television over listening to your other half is never going to end well because it’s insulting. Are women really that boring? Or do you only enjoy conversations about sex and food? Tuning in and out of conversations isn’t really an option; you’re either having a chat with us, or you aren’t. Maybe all conversations should take the form of ‘Sex. Please take the bin out’ or ‘Food. Can I have a cuddle?’ or maybe even ‘I’m naked. Your tea has been on the side for half an hour’. Please don’t make us do this.

Annoying male habit 3: Leaving a trail of mess

What is it with the male tendency to leave the story of their day behind in a long trail of mess like a storyboard? When we get home from work we don’t need to ask what you’ve been up to on your day off; we can see that you had a shower and a shave, played on your game, had lunch, played on a different game and then watched films. Is this a strategic trail that you leave behind so you can find your way back to the fridge? Or is it so you needn’t bother telling us about your day when we get home? Please enlighten us, and in the meantime, pick your mess up.

Annoying male habit 4: Leaving the remnants of your shaving session in the sink

Men, if you walked into the bathroom only to find used makeup wipes and the hair from our freshly shaved legs around the bathroom, we’re sure you’d find it somewhat bothersome. We seem to face a similar problem every morning with your short curly hairs and bits of stubble. It’s not pleasant at all. Just because you hate the boring process of shaving, don’t bring us into your battle against the beard and overgrown chest hair.

Annoying male habit 5: Man flu

The term ‘man flu’ has permeated public consciousness to suggest that men exaggerate their cold symptoms as a way of getting attention from their female counterparts. If you’re as strong and enduring as you claim to be, then don’t break down when you have a cold. We dread to think how you’d cope with period pain and childbirth – thank your lucky stars you’re a man.

Annoying male habit 6: Spending all your money on technical stuff

If we go on a shopping spree and return with a handful of bags, we never hear the end of it. Yet men seem to have a bottomless bank of money when it comes to games and technical stuff. We’re willing to call compromise on this one though; if you’re going to spend your money on stuff you don’t really need, let us do the same without feeling guilty about it. You buy your games, we’ll buy our shoes, and we’ll call it a truce.

Annoying male habit 7: Leaving the toilet seat up

The troublesome toilet seat; who would have known it could cause such a fuss? Indeed, no list of men’s annoying habits is complete without the classic toilet seat argument getting a mention. We understand that you need to lift it up – we’d only complain about you dirtying the seat if you didn’t – but what’s wrong with putting it back down again after?
June 1st, 2012  
viper2007
 
 
I have this statement to make with regards to the entry made earlier-

I refuse to concur on the grounds that it may incriminate me...

I am saying this because my wife was just standing behind me while I was making this entry. She was holding a very big rolling pin in one hand and a big knife on the other...
--
7 things women do that drive men mad
June 1st, 2012  
42RM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freyja
Annoying male habit 1: Adjusting your private parts
It´s not a habit - it´s a reflex.
It´s in our genes, just like when the male dog licks his balls, he does it because he is able do it.
June 1st, 2012  
Freyja
 
And because a female dog is able to lick its nipples, does not mean that we do the same.
June 1st, 2012  
42RM
 
I know some females who will
June 1st, 2012  
Freyja
 
I'm sure you do
June 1st, 2012  
Yossarian
 
 
Let's hope nobody uses this thread for counsel in the early stages of a relationship.

Good stuff.
June 1st, 2012  
BritinBritain
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freyja
Annoying male habit 1: Adjusting your private parts

The day that women discover the secret to a man’s love for fiddling with his private parts will be a joyous occasion. Surely that much scratching and re-adjusting can’t be good for you; why hasn’t someone invented a cure for this frustrating problem by now? The image of a man lying on the sofa with his manhood in one hand and a bag of... well, nuts in the other, certainly won’t make it into a list of women’s top 10 sexual fantasies any time soon. Whilst we understand you sometimes need to ‘sort the boys out’ for comfort purposes, at least do it while we’re not looking.
Well, we have to make sure our wedding tackle is ready at all times.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freyja
Annoying male habit 2: Selective hearing

Choosing to watch the television over listening to your other half is never going to end well because it’s insulting. Are women really that boring? Or do you only enjoy conversations about sex and food? Tuning in and out of conversations isn’t really an option; you’re either having a chat with us, or you aren’t. Maybe all conversations should take the form of ‘Sex. Please take the bin out’ or ‘Food. Can I have a cuddle?’ or maybe even ‘I’m naked. Your tea has been on the side for half an hour’. Please don’t make us do this.
With women's constant talking they would wear our ears out if we didn't **** a deaf'un.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freyja
Annoying male habit 3: Leaving a trail of mess

What is it with the male tendency to leave the story of their day behind in a long trail of mess like a storyboard? When we get home from work we don’t need to ask what you’ve been up to on your day off; we can see that you had a shower and a shave, played on your game, had lunch, played on a different game and then watched films. Is this a strategic trail that you leave behind so you can find your way back to the fridge? Or is it so you needn’t bother telling us about your day when we get home? Please enlighten us, and in the meantime, pick your mess up.
As women have no sense of direction, men leave a trail so females know where to find us.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Freyja
Annoying male habit 4: Leaving the remnants of your shaving session in the sink

Men, if you walked into the bathroom only to find used makeup wipes and the hair from our freshly shaved legs around the bathroom, we’re sure you’d find it somewhat bothersome. We seem to face a similar problem every morning with your short curly hairs and bits of stubble. It’s not pleasant at all. Just because you hate the boring process of shaving, don’t bring us into your battle against the beard and overgrown chest hair.
Men leave their hairs in the sink to prove that we are doing our best to look good for women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freyja
Annoying male habit 5: Man flu

The term ‘man flu’ has permeated public consciousness to suggest that men exaggerate their cold symptoms as a way of getting attention from their female counterparts. If you’re as strong and enduring as you claim to be, then don’t break down when you have a cold. We dread to think how you’d cope with period pain and childbirth – thank your lucky stars you’re a man.
Men don't have the common cold, we suffer a debilitating illness. When women have period pain, believe me men suffer. As for child birth, last time I was constipated I think I gave birth to something that weighed at least 10 pounds, there were teeth marks in the toilet door.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freyja
Annoying male habit 6: Spending all your money on technical stuff

If we go on a shopping spree and return with a handful of bags, we never hear the end of it. Yet men seem to have a bottomless bank of money when it comes to games and technical stuff. We’re willing to call compromise on this one though; if you’re going to spend your money on stuff you don’t really need, let us do the same without feeling guilty about it. You buy your games, we’ll buy our shoes, and we’ll call it a truce.
Men buy games and technical stuff for a very good reason, games teach us how to protect our loved ones in case zombies try to take over the world. We buy technical stuff like drills, saws and so on to build things to make our homes more comfortable. Another good reason is, when using an electric saw or drill it drowns out the noise of females nagging.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freyja
Annoying male habit 7: Leaving the toilet seat up

The troublesome toilet seat; who would have known it could cause such a fuss? Indeed, no list of men’s annoying habits is complete without the classic toilet seat argument getting a mention. We understand that you need to lift it up – we’d only complain about you dirtying the seat if you didn’t – but what’s wrong with putting it back down again after?
We leave the seat up to make it easier for women to clean the toilet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freyja
And because a female dog is able to lick its nipples, does not mean that we do the same.
I've got my camera ready if you feel the need to do it.
June 1st, 2012  
BritinBritain
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by viper2007
I have this statement to make with regards to the entry made earlier-

I refuse to concur on the grounds that it may incriminate me...

I am saying this because my wife was just standing behind me while I was making this entry. She was holding a very big rolling pin in one hand and a big knife on the other...
Well you are a medic, you can always treat yourself after she hits you with the rolling pin and stabs you.
 


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