What to tell my mom?

D

dlippert

New Member
I am 19 and I am just finishing my first semester of college. Right now, I live with my grandpa and go to a community college, and the plan was for me to go another semester here and then transfer to the University of Kansas.

I have made the decision to forego my second semester and go to BMT for the Army National Guard.

Now, with my parents, money isn't that much of an issue. My mom says she would much rather pay for my school and have me stay there, then have me enlist.

I want to join the National Guard, I want to serve my country and endure basic, and if need be I wouild be willing to go on to active duty.

My mom thinks that if I join the NG, I will be shipped off to Iraq and killed. I scored a 98 on my fake-ASVAB that the recruiter gave me, and should score similarly on my real one, meaning I can pick from any MOS. I want to be a lawyer and am going to go to paralegal training.

Now, I am trying to tell my mom that IF I get called up to active duty and IF I get sent to Iraq, I won't be walking around with a gun in my hand (even though I would be willing to do that).

I have explained to her that of that less then 150 Guardsmen and Women have died in Iraq (300 sometihng injured severely), but she seems to ignore this.

She is being a mom, and I appreciate it, but what can I tell her to support me? I believe in what I am doing, and I want to do it. I will come out of BMT a better, more desciplined person.

Any help would be appreciated.

Also, a quick question, if I enlist, what are the odds that I get called up to active duty? Am I right in thinking it is about a 50:50 shot?
 
There isn't much you can tell the parents they only hear what they want to... no statistics will change her view... tell her that it is what you want to do... maybe she will support you now maybe later... she'll come around
 
Often times, standing up for what you believe is not easy. There is no textbook answer for your question. Except if you truly believe the national guard is something you want to do, go for it. Your mother is just going to have to deal with it. I'm assuming you're an adult, right? Then it's your choice not hers. Part of being an adult is learning to cope with the fact that not everyone is going to like you and you aren't going to please everyone with your choices. But as long as you are doing what you think is right, then you're good.
 
All I can say is that it's your choice, not hers. Yes, you probably will be in harms way a lot. However, since you say you want to be a lawyer, I doubt that you'll be in any combat situations. (Not saying that just being sent overseas isn't combat)

Tell her how you feel about it, and I'm sure that she'll come around...eventually.
 
Food for thought.

Just because you are not in a combat MOS does not mean you won't be exposed to danger and combat.

There is no designated Front Line in this war. There are only places more secure than others.
 
Do what you want man... I left university after 2 years, because I wasn't satisfied with my life and haven't looked back since... But remember when you join up, even a reserve unit you can get called up to go over and do your job... Think long and hard about what your priorities are... You can always go back to school, and serving your country is unforgettable experience.
 
Tell your mum that you love her and you just want to try something different. It may not be forever and she will be proud of you. Like all mothers out there she will worry thats their job. My mum cried when I left to join and I come from a military family so like I said its their job to worry. I would be more concerned if she didnt say anything or didnt care.


PS. Write and ring her as much as you can they like that.
 
Paralegal training

Hi,
I am in your same situation more or less. I am 20 years old and have three and a half years of college. I will be graduating with my bachelors in May from UIUC. I joined the Army and will be leaving in June. Some things to watch out for though, just because they have an MOS as an option does not mean it will be open to you. My AFQT was high like yours, I got a 99, my lowest score was a 141 in my GT. I was told I would "be able to get any job I want." Off to MEPS I go, and I asked for administrative or paralegal work, and was told that all the available slots were already booked. I ended up signing for 56M, I will go back tommorrow to change it to medical specialist 91W.
With the National Guard, there is a good chance that during your enlistment, you will be called up. I'm scheduled to go to active, but many of my friends are in the National Guard infantry. Two of them will be leaving tommorrow to train and then go to Iraq.

Reg.,
E
 
My Dad was in the Army(in Vietnam), Army Reserve, Air National Guard, and was a Marine in the Marine Reserves. So, he's been around the block a few times. He gives me hell just comin' on these forums. He says stupid things, and tells me about the negative aspects of the military. Well he actual does that Marine Corps style, over and over and over again. We went through a phase a couple days ago where he would talk to me for about 3-4 hours a night straight, for a couple of days. One time, when he first got wind that I want to become a Marine, he just jumped up and started yellin' like mad, nothing bad, but his old Drill Instructor self, laid into me with words. So, I stood there at parade rest for two hours. Now, do I hate him for that, nope I love 'im for it, he taught me some things and showed he cares about me.
I thought he was the only in my family member who objected my decision. My Mom has always been saying "well, it sounds like a good career, you know what you're doing, I'm still going to be worrying about you though." And " You nee to think about it more."
Well, come to find out from my brother she tells him how much she hates it and doesn't want me to get hurt, etc, etc.(I don't live with my Mom, so when she e-mails me or talks to me over the phone, I can't really tell what she thinks) And everyone else besides my Dad has been saying the same thing. "You need to think about it more", "sounds like a good career."
But now, since I have been talking about it more, they start to come out from behind the wall, not agreeing with my decision. So, I'm be flanked with objections. Do I care, no. Am I going to let them stop me from doing what I want to do, no ofcourse not. But do they support me? Yes, in their own way they do, showing that they do care. I know of the consequences of war and the military in general. I come from a military family, well yeah, and so I have heard some stories, good and bad.
My Dad doesn't just tell me about the negative aspects of the military, he tells me both positive and negative aspects of it. And he too, the one who objects my decision the most, support me in his own way as well. He test me everyday, doing little things, seeing if I will snap, like in boot camp.

So, if your family and friends get mad and tell you how much they don't want you to join, that show how much they care.
Just thought that would help.
Lamm
 
the_13th_redneck said:
I think it's pretty safe to assume that you'll be in harm's way.
Click to expand...

Whats up, I just got back from Infantry OSUT Training (Basic/AIT) at Ft. Benning, and I happen to know a bunch of National Guard/Army Reserve guys who trained with me in my Company. You said you thought it would be a 50/50 chance of going, but every single one of the guys I know in the National Guard or Army Reserve will be going to Iraq. I believe you have to be with your unit for about a month, and then you can ship to Iraq - or the staging area to Iraq, and every single unit that these guys are with have shipped, are about to ship, or ship within the next couple months.

There is a joke at FT. Benning ITB (Infantry Training Brigade) and that it is the National Guard/Army Reserve will be in Iraq before the guys in the Regular Army ship over.

I don't know if thats true, because I will most likely be going to Iraq about the same time as my buddies that are National Guard, but no matter what branch, or national guard/whatever -- you better join thinking that you're gonna go. Most likely if you join, you will go.

Also - like the other guy said - There is no safe place in Iraq... There might be more secure places, but there are never safe places in a combat zone. Also - statistics don't matter to a Mom - all she's going to think about is "what if" that was my son. Know what I mean?
 
one last thing --

This is a choice you have to make for yourself, because in the end, the effects (good or bad) are things YOU will deal with. This will effect your life(I believe in a good/positive way), and change it forever. This decision should be made without anyone elses influences because they aren't the ones controlling your life. Mothers will always be worried, and thats a Mom's job, but I don't know of any Mother who isn't proud of her soldier...
 
Yes I agree with the idea that mothers will always worry. My mother worried about me just driving on the road even after I had been driving for decades. In my case, it was very different from the world you're going into now so I'm not sure my experiences apply, but here goes. My dad grilled the hell out of me to be sure I wasn't doing it to be "cool" or some stupid shit like that but that I had a plan and a goal - I did. Money was tight for us back then and it was a way to pay for college also I thought I might get some good life lessons - I did. My mother was worried but she packed me off with the words "If anybody makes life hard for you, you _show_ them what you're made of. You're the decendant of highland warriors. You'll do fine." But then my mom's 100% Scot so that's a bit different than your case he he. Mom was always like that. If we had fights as kids and lost she sent us back outside to go fight again to show at least that we weren't afraid and often we won the second time because we didn't want to fail her. Mom was harder on us in that way than dad even and he was a Marine.

In the end as others have already said, it is your decision. Measure out what you have to gain beside what you have to lose and the likelihood of either. When you're sure you're right then go with that decision. All I can say is that my military career certainly benefited me as well as caused me loss. The sum of the gains though was greater than the sum of the losses.
 
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