I was told these stories buy a guy in the Army Air Corps dining World War 2, I thought they were comedic, so I leave them ere for prosperity.
He and his boys were all in plain clothes being transported from train station throughout Georgia, the final stop being Fort Benning. As they stopped at one station, a couple of the guys had to piss something terrible, and the latrine inside of the cars were locked up since they were little bit more than seats with holes, and it would pollute the station's tracks with all the dung puddles building up. So they finally couldn't hold it anymore, and a few of them snuck out of the car into the station to relieve themselves. When they came back, however, the train was gone! A quick talk with the MP and they found themselves hitch hiking down to the next station, the MP saying he'll call ahead to delay the train.
So they managed to hitch a ride, but in those days gasoline was really expensive, and every time a car reached the top of a hill, it would turn the power off and coast down the hill, then turn it on again only when approaching the next hill. It was taking forever, but finally they arrived just in time to the next station...just in time to see their train leave. This pattern of events continued for three more stations, every time they would arrive, the train would leave, until finally they made it to his post.
He arrived to his unit in his plain clothes, and having arrived late, they no longer had any uniforms to hand out, so he had to go to the warehouse to pick up a uniform. He went in with his buddies and was told it would only be a few minutes....but you know how the military is, several hours passed by without any help, and being board out of his mind, he began scanning everything in his site, his eyes falling upon a jacket he though might fit him. He went up to it to try it on, thinking if he found t fit him, he could point it out and thereby speed up the process. SLLAAPPPP! Just as suddenly as he picked it up, a guard grabbed him accusing him of trying to steal it. He saw out of the corner of his eye his buddies slipping out the door. Next thing he knew, he was talking to a young JAG Lieutenant telling him the best way out was to plead guilty, and he'll get the judge to throw out the charge.
Now, being a smart Corporal, slamming braincell against braincell in the effort of reasoning, he realized this was not perhaps the best path to take, but after being told repeatedly that there was no other was to get off the charges, his mind coagulated, and he conceded.
Of course, he was convicted, and sent thirty days to the guardhouse. There, still in his same stinking civilian cloths, he was given the job of crushing those huge industrial vegetable and soup cans with a hand operated press. At the end of the thirty days, a captain came and picked him up, and said he would take him to his shipping unit; but along the way, he ask him if he could stop a few minutes and visit his girlfriend at the hospital, who worked there as a nurse. Three hours later, the Captain came back, apologizing about taking so long. Nick being dropped off at his new barracks, he walked in...and saw that his bed was the only one left made! A officer came walking in yelling at him about missing his ride, and he had to prove that he was with the Captain or else he'd be declared AWOL. This he did, and the next day he was told to go to the warehouse, this time accompanied. He got his uniforms, and a carbine, and told to report to of all places, the guardhouse! The staff not recognizing him all cleaned up in a soldier's uniform, he was told to go oversee the men working at the can crushers! So he went over there with all his old buddies, and gave them the day off, telling them to go out behind the building and relax.
He and his boys were all in plain clothes being transported from train station throughout Georgia, the final stop being Fort Benning. As they stopped at one station, a couple of the guys had to piss something terrible, and the latrine inside of the cars were locked up since they were little bit more than seats with holes, and it would pollute the station's tracks with all the dung puddles building up. So they finally couldn't hold it anymore, and a few of them snuck out of the car into the station to relieve themselves. When they came back, however, the train was gone! A quick talk with the MP and they found themselves hitch hiking down to the next station, the MP saying he'll call ahead to delay the train.
So they managed to hitch a ride, but in those days gasoline was really expensive, and every time a car reached the top of a hill, it would turn the power off and coast down the hill, then turn it on again only when approaching the next hill. It was taking forever, but finally they arrived just in time to the next station...just in time to see their train leave. This pattern of events continued for three more stations, every time they would arrive, the train would leave, until finally they made it to his post.
He arrived to his unit in his plain clothes, and having arrived late, they no longer had any uniforms to hand out, so he had to go to the warehouse to pick up a uniform. He went in with his buddies and was told it would only be a few minutes....but you know how the military is, several hours passed by without any help, and being board out of his mind, he began scanning everything in his site, his eyes falling upon a jacket he though might fit him. He went up to it to try it on, thinking if he found t fit him, he could point it out and thereby speed up the process. SLLAAPPPP! Just as suddenly as he picked it up, a guard grabbed him accusing him of trying to steal it. He saw out of the corner of his eye his buddies slipping out the door. Next thing he knew, he was talking to a young JAG Lieutenant telling him the best way out was to plead guilty, and he'll get the judge to throw out the charge.
Now, being a smart Corporal, slamming braincell against braincell in the effort of reasoning, he realized this was not perhaps the best path to take, but after being told repeatedly that there was no other was to get off the charges, his mind coagulated, and he conceded.
Of course, he was convicted, and sent thirty days to the guardhouse. There, still in his same stinking civilian cloths, he was given the job of crushing those huge industrial vegetable and soup cans with a hand operated press. At the end of the thirty days, a captain came and picked him up, and said he would take him to his shipping unit; but along the way, he ask him if he could stop a few minutes and visit his girlfriend at the hospital, who worked there as a nurse. Three hours later, the Captain came back, apologizing about taking so long. Nick being dropped off at his new barracks, he walked in...and saw that his bed was the only one left made! A officer came walking in yelling at him about missing his ride, and he had to prove that he was with the Captain or else he'd be declared AWOL. This he did, and the next day he was told to go to the warehouse, this time accompanied. He got his uniforms, and a carbine, and told to report to of all places, the guardhouse! The staff not recognizing him all cleaned up in a soldier's uniform, he was told to go oversee the men working at the can crushers! So he went over there with all his old buddies, and gave them the day off, telling them to go out behind the building and relax.
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