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YOURGIRL

YOURGIRL

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Crawling breathless along the muddy sludge of the river bank, sweat dripping from every pore, the fear was almost paralyzing. My leg had only been partially severed before i escaped. I had to get to a hiding place... :idea:

be as creative as you can, and don't be shy!
 
Not only had the sun set, but the night brought the hazards of a tropical rainstorm. My leg began to bleed immensely and the cold started to overcome me. Out of the darkness, bullets zipped over my head. I need to find shelter soon.
 
I wasn't going to make, I look up and saw them coming. The eerie blue glow from their anti-gravity enginges announced their arrival, along with a searing gust of hot wind. I at least had to let the council know, the Martians had found the compound.
 
They screamed "TIEN LEN TIEN LEN!!!" and poured over the fences like gooks. Jonny got hit and landed on my bad leg. The bone splintered, I would need Martian technology too fix it.

Then out of nowhere I heard Flight of the Valkeries, and the Huey gunships came, ready for the counterattack. Needless too say they were ripped to shreds.... :cowb:
 
Falling from the skies like metal clad grasshoppers, the wounded helicopters hit amongst the martian envoys, causing much pain and suffering among their ranks. The martians earie wails added to canopathy of Wagner inspired operatic aria's from the bent but still functional loud speakers.

:D
 
And then it hits me- there is no rain on Mars! So what the hell is going on? And the sounds of Wanger gradually shift into the sounds of my alarm clock going off. The wailing of the Martians turns into the wailing from my own mouth. My splintered leg turns into a splintering headache. I have a hangover like none other in my life. I am back on planet Earth. I am home. THE END...or is it???
*Mom and dad come in looking suspiciously like the Martians from my dream....Holy sh*t*
 
"man i must be having a really bad hangover...the room's spinning and i feel like hurling. what did dad just say?" i mumble to myself
 
I said get out of bed and hop to it soldier. You just got called in for active duty. You are to report to Sargent Mueller ASAP.
 
As I report, the Sergeant starts spouting off about a new mission and how we are to report to Colonel James. Interesting the Colonel's reputation is black ops and special missions. The sergeant and I walk into the office and report. . . . . .
 
.... to the allmighty :firedevi: REDLEG :firedevi: , Master of the Universe, destroyer of Worlds, supreme being, and an all around nice guy.
Redleg had thrown the puny colonel out of the window, and was now sitting on a throne made of pure gold !!

We both fell down on our knees, and the only words we were able to stutter were: "w-w-wee'rre n-n-n-no-t-t w-w-wor-r-rt-t-y, oh a-a-ll-l-m-ig-ht-y admin....."
 
But that didn't affect the Might Redleg at all..

Redleg rose from his mighty throne, and spoke to his Army of Undead with an ice cold, deep and dark voice:
"Take back the lands they stole from you! Burn every village!

Hunt them down! Do not stop until they are found. You do not know pain, you do not know fear. You will taste alien flesh! "
 
.. Suddenly! From across the room heard a "Roger that 20-20"

Alpha Unit from the SF "Charles Cheese Unit" stepped forward..

"Want extra cheese with that?" said MSGT. Chucky..

"About time you showed up! Now go fix the damn..." (continue)
 
Then all the shrooms and crack cocaine wore off. It was a mighty powerful trip, but it was worth every second.

When I crawled out of the dumpster I noticed that my car wasnt there, and the burning discharge had stopped dripping out of my loins. :cowb:
 
God i hope that was a dream. Especially the part where i got a hooker and it ended up she was married and had kids.
 
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