Second thoughts.

Damien435

Damien435

Active member
I joined the Army July 2nd, 2004 as a DEP (Delayed Entry Program) and I go to Fort Benning on June 21st with my OSUT (One Station Unit Training I believe is what that stands for.) starting July 1st. I had no problem with leaving before July 4th at the time, to me joining the Army was a big deal, life changing, but that is what I want to do and I did it, but now the realization is hitting me, last Christmas would be my last Christmas as a kid, possibly my last Christmas at home for the next four years at least, maybe more if I choose to go career, which is what I am planning. But even then it did not hit me, it was not till a couple days ago that I realized that at this time next year my life would be totally different, I would not get to wake up every morning and see my mom, I would not be able to talk to my friends everyday like I do now, I might wake up with a bomb going off in the distance in the middle of the Iraqi desert. I am starting to have second thoughts about joining, I know serving my country is not a death sentence like many people seem to think (I am living proof of this. my Grandpa served in Korea, he was hit by a mortar round and lost all but five feet of his small intestines, but he survived and here I sit today, typing away) but I want to know if having second thoughts is normal, do most people have them? Is it something I maybe want to try and hide from my recruiter? But maybe second thoughts is not the correct word, maybe a better term is the realization of what I did that is finally hitting me, like a sledge hammer I might add.

Sorry bout the run on sentences and what not, hope you guys can follow this.
 
You wouldn't be human if you didn't have second thoughts. It is a life changing decision no doubt about it, but leaving home comes eventually whether you join the Army or not. Try to look at the positive. The young bird is leaving the nest. You're getting your wings. And if it's any consolation I well remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach in the days and weeks before I got on that bus for basic training.
 
Well i am 21 years old and i could be leaving for Marine RT as soon as THIS friday depending on if any slots open up for my MOS. I have second thoughts and i think that anyone that tells you that they don't just hasn't got close enough to their ship date or may be a liar! Something i will tell you is this... i had the opportunity to "grow" up on my own and do some "living" on my own. The only thing i managed was to get myself in debt and screw up a couple of relationships. So that didn't help anything! And as far as staying with your family and not growing up let me be the first to tell this "TOUGH" you're gonna have to get over it either now or later and the longer you wait the harder it is going to be. If you're lucky enough to have a good recruiter then i don't think you should hide anything from him as he is the only one that can help you get out of the army if that is what you so choose or to get you in touch with the right person to talk about your anxiety. Either way you should know that any branch of the military will impact your LIFE in ways that you have not considered. I think that you should talk to the members in your family that have served and get the goods and bads and also consider the fact that eventually you aren't going to be able to live at home with your mom and that if you aren't the first one of your friends to leave home someone else will.
 
don't worry

sweetheart what you feel is emotion is part of growing up and letting go. Its you just realising that your on your own two feet. I felt that way at 17 when i joined navy. Ok your 1st xmas away from home will be hard, its hard for any person but then you realise that yeah its one day of year with family but you don't need to be there with them to let them know you love them. Your doing a job for your self and one you like. If you let your emotions stop you now, how will they effect your life?
Your only human so don't worry.
Humans an animals were built to have instinct as a good guide..............follow it. Its the fight/flight soloution.............its built into you. My advice whcih i followed only cus i got told by an instructure when learning sonar

"if you have to look at something twice, then some things there"

I tell youw aht its good advice follow it. If you have to think twice about a situation then maybe you need to change it.

Hope ain't sounded to harsh, I don't mean too xxxx
 
The first holiday away may be hard on most people but yo will have your NEW friends and family to spend it with. You are goinin in July, so by the time Christmas does role around you should be with your unit and have already realized the family that you are gettin to know then. It is hard bein away from home, and everyone thinks about those times from even the highest ranks, it is how you learn and deal with those situations that will make you into the person you will eventually be. I agree with Anya:

"its one day of year with family but you don't need to be there with them to let them know you love them"

Second thoughts are natural for most people, but once you get through the start you will be fine. Remember this is what you have waited for your entire life. You will be fine..
 
okie hun

TY sooners xx

Its all part of growing up hun.

Soon your job will be your family. Your friends the ones that won't ditch you will be your best friends they are lifers for you. I love my family aka mum etc but my family in navyw were and are still of importance. One thing about military differs to civvy's is the bond between people. Civvy's will never get this.

Be happy you may have doubts or be home sick but if the military is right for you, then it will make you a better person and sure thats what your family wants for you.

I crapped my self the day i got on train to go to basic my nerves were wild (i didn't actually poo myself, just an expression)

I cried my eyes out when i left my family on that platform yet their tears weren't of sadness but happiness. And if you get sent to defend then so be it. Your a small cog in a large organisation that is doing good.

If that makes sense
 
"I want to know if having second thoughts is normal, do most people have them?"

100% normal, specially during service. The worst thing is that outside military social relationships get easily weakened during service, specially when and if abroad. Many people just forget :cry:
 
2nd thoughts are more common than you think.

If social bonds are gonna fade then that proves that they were not good enough friends in the 1st place.

I mean being ex navy, when i was navy i was awya all time i only came home if not on deployment once every 2/3 months if that. I went yrs with out seeing friends. The ones who truely cared made an effort whether or not a mail/email/phone call/text...........they did it so did i.

This is how it goes.......................

When you join military this is a time you will find out who is your true friends
 
As has already been stated, second thoughts are quite normal .. and as you approach your leave date, they'll become more frequent and stronger. Even while in basic, you'll have second thoughts. Fear of the unknown, well all have it. Eventually, you will adjust.

I've had countless deployments, and I can honestly tell you, each one is like the first one when it comes to leaving behind your family. It's difficult, it will always be difficult, but as Sooner's said - it's how you deal that makes the difference.

Don't worry about it, and don't be ashamed of it (re: hiding it from your recruiter).
 
Rndrsafe is right. You are feeling the way you should feel. I too have been deployed many times over the years and each time those feeling returned. What will happen though, is that you will learn to switch modes from one where you're leaving home to one where you have to concentrate on the job at hand and doing it the best you can. When you get to Ft. Benning (been there many times myself) just casually look around at your fellow recruits and realize that each one is probably feeling the same things you are. There's nothing unusual about it. In fact I'd worry if you weren't experiencing these feelings.
Good luck at Ft. Benning (Uncle Sam's home for wayward boys). Take heart in knowing that you're about to walk in the same footsteps as many good men before you. I'm sure you'll become a fine soldier.
 
Thank you everyone.

I was pretty sure that second thoughts were perfectly normal and that no sane man (or woman) wouldn't have them but seeing other people say it really helped ro reinforce it. Part of the problem though is that a lot of people keep walking up to me and asking when I leave and if I am getting nervous about it, I try not to think about it, I want to enjoy my senior year of High School and not worry about what happens after that, but when people keep forcing the subject on me it is kind of hard not to think about it. I am a little scared about Basic, but not fear of death because I know that the Drill Seargents job is to try and get as many recruits through and the last thing they want is a recruit dying on them. But rather a fear of the unknown, I have never done anything remotely similar to basic so the thinking about it is like looking into a box with no light entering and wondering what is inside.

Your words of encouragement have helped greatly, thank you all.
 
ty

SOD's law (murphy's) precides that what you don't wanna happen will and vice versa................................

Hun your get used to it. Onceyou settle in basic and find other people are feeling like you your relax. I found that during basic the bonding that went on was very deep and its something that will saty with you. Any advice you are given whilst your in, it be good to take it and keep it in mind. Remember even some one thats been in a yr longer than you will be knowledgeable.....unless you get a prat!!!.............people are there to help and your soon work out who are the bad apples.

But remember everything takes time.........and good luck hun xxxx
 
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