Navy/Marine Humor
:shock: :roll: :twisted:MCJROTCgirl
New Member
ooo...harsh...funny, but harsh. 
how about this one for ya:
A Marine walks into the restroom and procedes to use the urinal. When he is done, he travels over to the sink and begins to wash his hands. As he does so, he sees a Navy SEAL walk in, use the urinal, and walk out without stopping to wash his hands. The Marine hurries out of the bathroom and catches up with the guy.
"Didn't the Navy teach you to wash your hands after you use the bathroom?" the Marine asks.
The SEAL gives him a balnk stare and replies, "Didn't the Marine Corps teach you not to pee on your hands?"
how about this one for ya:A Marine walks into the restroom and procedes to use the urinal. When he is done, he travels over to the sink and begins to wash his hands. As he does so, he sees a Navy SEAL walk in, use the urinal, and walk out without stopping to wash his hands. The Marine hurries out of the bathroom and catches up with the guy.
"Didn't the Navy teach you to wash your hands after you use the bathroom?" the Marine asks.
The SEAL gives him a balnk stare and replies, "Didn't the Marine Corps teach you not to pee on your hands?"
MCJROTCgirl said:
Hehehe, I still like that one.
Heres a good one.
Attention Army bashing ahead!
This Marine, all messed up from Vietnam,
Went to the hospital to get checked.
Because of the war, his brain was all screwed up,
And all he could say,
Was the words to the Marines hymn.
So the doctor asked his name, he replied, "From the Halls of Montezuma."
The doctor decided to remove part of his brain,
Thinking that would cure it.
When the doctor did this,
The Marine still said "From the Halls of Montezuma..."
The doctor figured he did not remove enough of the brain.
So after removing some more,
The marine still only said those words.
The doctor, now getting frustrated,
Decided to take the rest of the brain out.
Now the Marine, with no brain,
Stood up and started singing,
"Be an Army of One!"
hehehehehee
ok heres how it really goes hehehe OOOOrah
A Sailor walks into the restroom and procedes to use the urinal. When he is done, he travels over to the sink and begins to wash his hands. As he does so, he sees a Marine walk in, use the urinal, and walk out without stopping to wash his hands. The Sailor hurries out of the bathroom and catches up with the guy.
"Didn't the Corps teach you to wash your hands after you use the bathroom?" the Sailor asks.
The Marine gives him a balnk stare and replies, "Didn't the Navy teach you Swab Jokies not to pee on your hands?
ok heres how it really goes hehehe OOOOrah
A Sailor walks into the restroom and procedes to use the urinal. When he is done, he travels over to the sink and begins to wash his hands. As he does so, he sees a Marine walk in, use the urinal, and walk out without stopping to wash his hands. The Sailor hurries out of the bathroom and catches up with the guy.
"Didn't the Corps teach you to wash your hands after you use the bathroom?" the Sailor asks.
The Marine gives him a balnk stare and replies, "Didn't the Navy teach you Swab Jokies not to pee on your hands?
MCJROTCgirl
New Member
oh well...its funny either way. heres some more:
Public Address System at U.S. Military Base in Kuwait:
Announcer, "May I have your attention please; the time is now eighteen hundred hours ...repeat, eighteen hundred hours.
For those of you civilians on base that's six p.m.
For those members of the Naval Services that's four bells (?). And, for those of you who are Marines, the big hand is on the twelve..."
Do You Have Your I.D. ?
A few years back one of the new Marines at the Barracks at Yorktown, VA was standing post at the main gate of the Naval Weapons Station. The duty policy was to check 100% of all I.D. cards including military in uniform regardless of rank. A Navy sedan drove up to the gate with a young seaman at the wheel and a rear admiral sitting in the back. The young Marine PFC signaled for the car to stop, approached the driver, and asked to see both I.D. cards. The admiral told the Marine that he was on his way to meet with the station C.O. and didn't have time for such nonsense....
Admiral to driver: "Go ahead."
...PFC to driver: "Don't do that."
...Admiral to driver: "You heard me, Drive on."
...PFC to Admiral as he draws his .45: "Sir, this is my first time on post. Do I shoot you or your driver?"
The admiral showed his I.D.
Boot Camp Morning Intro:
The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers at Parris Island Boot Camp Daily Training, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Jones will be setting the pace on our morning run.” With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Jones was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news, Private Jones will be driving my Hummer."
Public Address System at U.S. Military Base in Kuwait:
Announcer, "May I have your attention please; the time is now eighteen hundred hours ...repeat, eighteen hundred hours.
For those of you civilians on base that's six p.m.
For those members of the Naval Services that's four bells (?). And, for those of you who are Marines, the big hand is on the twelve..."
Do You Have Your I.D. ?
A few years back one of the new Marines at the Barracks at Yorktown, VA was standing post at the main gate of the Naval Weapons Station. The duty policy was to check 100% of all I.D. cards including military in uniform regardless of rank. A Navy sedan drove up to the gate with a young seaman at the wheel and a rear admiral sitting in the back. The young Marine PFC signaled for the car to stop, approached the driver, and asked to see both I.D. cards. The admiral told the Marine that he was on his way to meet with the station C.O. and didn't have time for such nonsense....
Admiral to driver: "Go ahead."
...PFC to driver: "Don't do that."
...Admiral to driver: "You heard me, Drive on."
...PFC to Admiral as he draws his .45: "Sir, this is my first time on post. Do I shoot you or your driver?"
The admiral showed his I.D.
Boot Camp Morning Intro:
The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers at Parris Island Boot Camp Daily Training, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Jones will be setting the pace on our morning run.” With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Jones was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news, Private Jones will be driving my Hummer."
IrishWizard
Active member
rofl these jokes are hilarious.
MCJROTCgirl
New Member
i heard this from my brother...hee hee, i love this one.
Marines Making Love - Is It Fun or Work:
A group of Marine Corp Officers are standing around talking when a Lieutenant, said "I feel that making love is 80% fun and 20% work."
Captain responded by saying, "No, I think that making love is more work than that. I would say that it is 60% fun and 40% work.
Then a Major says, "No, making love is definitely way more work than that. I would say that it is 20% fun and 80% work."
They are all contemplating these revelations when a Gunnery Sergeant walks by. The officers call the Gunny over to ask his opinion.
The Major says, "Excuse me Gunny, we are having a discussion and would like your input." "The Lieutenant says that making love is 80% fun and 20% work. The Captain says that making love is 60% fun and 40% work. I say that making love is 20% fun and 80% work. Gunny, what is your opinion?"
The Gunny smiles and says, "Sir, you are all wrong. Making love must be 100% fun because if there was any work involved, you would have the enlisted Marines doing it for you."
Marines Making Love - Is It Fun or Work:
A group of Marine Corp Officers are standing around talking when a Lieutenant, said "I feel that making love is 80% fun and 20% work."
Captain responded by saying, "No, I think that making love is more work than that. I would say that it is 60% fun and 40% work.
Then a Major says, "No, making love is definitely way more work than that. I would say that it is 20% fun and 80% work."
They are all contemplating these revelations when a Gunnery Sergeant walks by. The officers call the Gunny over to ask his opinion.
The Major says, "Excuse me Gunny, we are having a discussion and would like your input." "The Lieutenant says that making love is 80% fun and 20% work. The Captain says that making love is 60% fun and 40% work. I say that making love is 20% fun and 80% work. Gunny, what is your opinion?"
The Gunny smiles and says, "Sir, you are all wrong. Making love must be 100% fun because if there was any work involved, you would have the enlisted Marines doing it for you."
sgtbreeden
Active member
that one is funn jr rotc girl i think i will use that one at work lol.
Mark Conley
Active member
this ones a-ok! a five :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: shining example!
devildog84
New Member
MCJROTCgirl said:
Drill sergeant are in the Army. We have Drill Instructors in the Marine Corps. Just some advise but I suggest not ever mixing that up to their faces. I am in a tri service school with the Navy and Army, who have their Drill Sergeants. A soldier called his DS a Drill Instructor and all hell broke loose. I am sure it would go even worse than that the other way around. Ooh-rah
Jason Bourne
Active member
A helicopter crashes in front of 3 guys, one is from the Air Force and he says that is a blackhawk helicopter, then he goes on and names its top speed, top altitude, and maximum wait capacity. The next guy is a Marine and he says "that's a mighty fine helicopter". The 3rd guy is from the navy and he just twirls his finger in circular motions and goes "whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop"
C/2nd Lt Robot
Active member
Way to go Navy j/k
Team Infidel
Forum Spin Doctor
that will leave a mark