I got your funny right here


Active member
Ok, since no-one ever seems to like my jokes, I figured I'd put up another, just to be contrary :lol: . These are all inspirational quotes about one of the finer things in life ;) .

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding
-Dean Martin

Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.
- Anon.

Okay, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. Let's just
take this exam so I can get back to killing you with beer.
- Homer J Simpson

Beauty lies in the hand of the Beer Holder.
- Anon.

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk,
they're sober.
- William Butler Yeats

Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
- Anon.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde

A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
- Edward Abbey

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks
- Humphrey Bogart

If I saved all the money I've spent on beer, I'd spend it on
- Anon.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
- W.C. Fields

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
- Anon.

Beer is good food.
- Anon.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
- Anon.

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted
all of the time and have the time of your life.
- Anon.

Beer - it's not just a breakfast drink anymore.
- Anon.

Beer is the reason I get up every afternoon.
- Anon.

I will never drink again as long as i live... At least until
- Colin

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
- Catherine Zandonella

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline
-it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear
weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
- Frank Zappa
Redneck, you forgot one, which I think you'll like:
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ;)
--Benjamin Franklin