Happy St. Patrick's Day!


Active member
Here's a couple jokes for you all on this fine day (begging your pardon in advance, RnderSafe :lol: ):

An Irish guy was walking down the road and he sees a bottle. He picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says, "You are my master. I will grant you three wishes." The Irishman replies "I want an endless bottle of whiskey." The genie says, "Your wish is my command," and POOF! there's a bottle of whiskey in his hand. The man takes the bottle of whiskey and drinks it down and it magically fills up again. He turns to the genie and says, "That was good. I'll be takin two more of these."

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin' mother truckers. I'll give $500 to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin' where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?". The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfil a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under its chin. "Hooray!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!" "Yeah," said the Irishman. "An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it."

:lol: Truth be told, us hicks and the stereoptypical Irishman have a lot in common. :lol:

By the way, is St. Patty's Day a big deal in any other countries besides the U.S. and Ireland?
An American, a Brit, and an Irishman walk into a bar. They each order a beer. 3 flys buzz in and get caught in the head of their beers. The Brit shoves his drink away in disgust. The American casually picks the fly out with his fingers and keeps drinking his beer. The Irishman too picks up the fly. Holding it to his face and staring it in the eyes he says "ALRIGHT NOW SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!" :lol:
I'll second that! Our shamrock arrived in time, fresh and straight from Limerick. To a large extent the English now have widely spread Irish descent with interlocked cultures.
I'm about an hour and 15 minutes late, but happy St. Patrick's Day!!! :)

Great jokes, Redneck! :)
Happy belate Patrick's Day, y'all.

I got drunk; that's the reason why I didn't logged into this forum on Paddy's day. :mrgreen:
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Man Law number one: Physical evidence convicts.

Number Two: Deny EVERYTHING! Even if it's true. Example: You are caught, with no way of talking yourself out of it, cheating. The right thing to say would be: This is just a dream, it never happened, you're sleepy and imagining things.