Couple of Navy Jokes


Active member
I posted this is the wrong forum, Navy Stories. By the time I realized this it was too late too delete it. I'm reposting here, in the right forum (I hope). Sorry Redleg!

1) A ship's gunner, home on leave, was sitting with his cat before the fire. His wife had to go and visit some relations, and warned him to keep an eye on the fire. She went out. The gunner fell asleep. Two hours passed. The fire died. The wife returned. She took one look at her husband sleeping before the dead fire, and screamed:
The husband leapt to attention, tore open the door of the oven, rammed in the cat, slammed the door, and cried, "Number One gun ready!"

2) A young cook of Irish extraction was taking the air on the deck one afternoon on a transport ship. A soldier who had never been to sea before in his life came up to him and said, "Pardon me, sir, are you the mate?"
"Shure and I am not," came the quick rejoinder. "Oi'm the man that cooks the mate."
Last edited by a moderator:

I heard a similar joke to the first one, but it was about a Soviet submariner that when woken cried "Preparing to engage American battleship, comrade captain!"

Though your one sounds more likely;)