Air Force Mechanics


Active member
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.


> (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
> (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

> (P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
> (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

> (P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
> (S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

> (P) Something loose in cockpit
> (S) Something tightened in cockpit

> (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
> (S) Evidence removed

> (P) DME volume unbelievably loud
> (S) Volume set to more believable level

> (P) Dead bugs on windshield
> (S) Live bugs on order

> (P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
> (S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

> (P) IFF inoperative
> (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

> (P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
> (S) That's what they're there for

> (P) Number three engine missing
> (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

> (P) Aircraft handles funny
> (S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious
> (P) Target Radar hums
> (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics
And, IIRC, they were not USAF but RAF pilots maintenance squawks quoted from 1972 upwards with different supposed "first" authors, still funny though... :)

Also, IIRC, the list was way longer, here some more I have posted somehwere on one of my pages:

(P) Autopilot doesn´t.
(S) It does now.

(P) Turn/slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns
(S) Congrats!

(P) Whining sound heard on engine shutdown
(S) Pilot removed from a/c

(P) RHS clock inoperative
(S) Rewound RHS clock

(P) #2 ADF needle runs wild
(S) Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle

(P) Unfamiliar noise from #1 engine
(S) 4 hrs test run on #1 engine performed. Noise now familiar

(P) Three roaches in cabin
(S) One roach KIA, one WIA, one got away