Mark Conley
Active member
At a luncheon to honor the service and sacrifice (Yeah Right!) I had done for my workplace in 1994, the guys gave me a plaque that’s pretty near and dear to my heart. It was inscribed with what they thought were the funniest things they had ever heard me say during office staff meetings, day to day work details, or overheard during private moments. I understand they had it engraved at five cents a letter: you do the math. Some of these were actually original in the 90’s. Enjoy.
1. “Young man, there couldn’t possibly be anyway I could put you out of my misery, is there?” (supposedly overheard during a counseling session with one of my airman)
2. “And to think I came this close to civilian status”…(Uttered at the table in response to learning I was going to the Persian Gulf in 1993. The civilian status was almost allowed during the great-enlisted personnel rift of 1992 in the AF, but not allowed for medical.)
3. “Come here, Lunch!” (A remark directed at certain airman at times that referred to my cannibalistic attempts to eat my workers to hide the evidence instead of punishing them for a particular inept action)
4. “Aw Sir, they are just sucking your left n*t”…(a remark made to the workplace officer in charge during the reading of a return letter from a workplace addressing their health code violations with many platitudes directed towards the shop for a fine job performed by us).
5. “What do those golden flakes of bran want now”…( A remark overheard during a particular trying day dealing with the health and safety demands of the repair center )
6. “When I want your opinion youngster, Ill beat it out of you”. (Often said, never performed)
7. “Young man, do you know how to eat a frog?” (referred to a discussion that involved my Mississippi heritage. The young man thought I was referring to the consumption of the frog ).
8. “Hey guys…look! The sky turned green! Guys…Guys?” (Overheard during the first time I was involved with tornado conditions at the base…They had split and were hiding under the desks and such. I was standing in the doorway looking at sky like an idiot)
9. “I think you have a future as a warm meal somewhere for someone”…(overheard during a counseling session with a worker)
10. "Okay…let’s lick this sucker clean"! (Reportedly said when we were deployed to a location with a field latrines… I don’t remember saying this by the way)
11. “You get over here now! Don’t make me work to get you” (often said when in pursuit of an inept but very fast moving airman on the verge of escaping my wrath: I always walked, never ran after anyone.)
12. “Yes Ma’am, I think they had a pretty definitive article on that in Playboy Magazine.” (Overheard at an Inspector General out brief, in which a discussion on the radio and magnetic field effect of electric blankets for people was briefed as a possible health effect to aircrews.)
1. “Young man, there couldn’t possibly be anyway I could put you out of my misery, is there?” (supposedly overheard during a counseling session with one of my airman)
2. “And to think I came this close to civilian status”…(Uttered at the table in response to learning I was going to the Persian Gulf in 1993. The civilian status was almost allowed during the great-enlisted personnel rift of 1992 in the AF, but not allowed for medical.)
3. “Come here, Lunch!” (A remark directed at certain airman at times that referred to my cannibalistic attempts to eat my workers to hide the evidence instead of punishing them for a particular inept action)
4. “Aw Sir, they are just sucking your left n*t”…(a remark made to the workplace officer in charge during the reading of a return letter from a workplace addressing their health code violations with many platitudes directed towards the shop for a fine job performed by us).
5. “What do those golden flakes of bran want now”…( A remark overheard during a particular trying day dealing with the health and safety demands of the repair center )
6. “When I want your opinion youngster, Ill beat it out of you”. (Often said, never performed)
7. “Young man, do you know how to eat a frog?” (referred to a discussion that involved my Mississippi heritage. The young man thought I was referring to the consumption of the frog ).
8. “Hey guys…look! The sky turned green! Guys…Guys?” (Overheard during the first time I was involved with tornado conditions at the base…They had split and were hiding under the desks and such. I was standing in the doorway looking at sky like an idiot)
9. “I think you have a future as a warm meal somewhere for someone”…(overheard during a counseling session with a worker)
10. "Okay…let’s lick this sucker clean"! (Reportedly said when we were deployed to a location with a field latrines… I don’t remember saying this by the way)
11. “You get over here now! Don’t make me work to get you” (often said when in pursuit of an inept but very fast moving airman on the verge of escaping my wrath: I always walked, never ran after anyone.)
12. “Yes Ma’am, I think they had a pretty definitive article on that in Playboy Magazine.” (Overheard at an Inspector General out brief, in which a discussion on the radio and magnetic field effect of electric blankets for people was briefed as a possible health effect to aircrews.)
