Why do guys have to be such jerks?

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NavyBrat88

Active member
Please tell me why guys think they can flirt with a girl, constantly tell her he loves her, even look her up and down a lot, and yet not want to go out with you?
 
o c'mon, i flirt with all of my girlfriends...and they dont mind, because they like other guys, and they know i know that, gotta do something during photojournalism....
 
girls flirt with me all the time and don't want to go out with me, I would call that a tease. So dont make it seem like its only guys.
 
NavyBrat88 said:
Please tell me why guys think they can flirt with a girl, constantly tell her he loves her, even look her up and down a lot, and yet not want to go out with you?
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Since I have done none of those to any girl, I will throw my 2 cents into this thread.

I read an interesting column by some girl a year or 2 ago that relates to your issue. She wrote that the nice guys are the ones that do not "persue" girls. They are the ones that sit back and do not take part in such games. My memory is hazy beyond this point. I know she made it clear that the nice guys do not hit on the girls.

Anyways, I don't think I have ever really tried to "hit on a girl" in my life. I have always just lived life as normal and met girls respectfully along the way. Now comes to the interesting part. One girl I met declared I was being nice because I was trying to "get some." How in the world is a guy suppose to defend that. Do girls want guys to be :cens: holes? One of my female friends said I was such a good guy while she went after the bad ones...which lead me to believe nice guys funnish last. But I am married, so I guess nice guys win in the end.

If you walk away with anything from my ramblings, ignore the guys who are in hot persuit of you. The nice ones lurk in the background, away from the games.

NOTE: I normally stay away from such topics as relationships unless I am addressing those who are being disrespectful. I can see this thread going that way. To all my fellow guys who I have alienated, use tact in your responses.

Doody
 
Methinks the young lady doth protest too much.

Young girls think a guy is cold if he does NOT look and a sex fiend if he DOES look.

I hate to tell ya gals, but ya can't have it both ways. Make up your minds.
 
Well what if he says he loves her, but do not dare to take her out as he fears what his friends will say? Teenage embarrassment? Else I share opinon with Doody.
 
Well fellas, look at this way. We're damned if we do and damned if we don't. Chief, you hit the nail on the head. Either way, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

If you like the boy tell him. The worst he can say is no. The best you can hope for is that he was too shy to actually do anything about it, and you've just made it easier for him.
 
forget chasing members of the opposite gender, focus on your interests and you will meet people who you have stuff in common with -> much better than wasting time chasing random hotbods you aren't sure about
 
NavyBrat88 said:
Please tell me why guys think they can flirt with a girl, constantly tell her he loves her, even look her up and down a lot, and yet not want to go out with you?
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I think that you'll find they are mostly children, regardless of their age. Don't acknowledge their advances and when they ask you "why" tell them that creeps always make you feel creepy.
 
Doody said:
Since I have done none of those to any girl, I will throw my 2 cents into this thread.

I read an interesting column by some girl a year or 2 ago that relates to your issue. She wrote that the nice guys are the ones that do not "persue" girls. They are the ones that sit back and do not take part in such games. My memory is hazy beyond this point. I know she made it clear that the nice guys do not hit on the girls.

Anyways, I don't think I have ever really tried to "hit on a girl" in my life. I have always just lived life as normal and met girls respectfully along the way. Now comes to the interesting part. One girl I met declared I was being nice because I was trying to "get some." How in the world is a guy suppose to defend that. Do girls want guys to be :cens: holes? One of my female friends said I was such a good guy while she went after the bad ones...which lead me to believe nice guys funnish last. But I am married, so I guess nice guys win in the end.

If you walk away with anything from my ramblings, ignore the guys who are in hot persuit of you. The nice ones lurk in the background, away from the games.

NOTE: I normally stay away from such topics as relationships unless I am addressing those who are being disrespectful. I can see this thread going that way. To all my fellow guys who I have alienated, use tact in your responses.

Doody
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indeed... thats how the game is played...

Girls want Mr. Abuse when they're young... the kind that always cheats on them and pretty much :cen: around with them... why u ask? well its simple... girls want to change the boys. They want an exciteing guy who can make their life miserable and give them their portion of drama...

now...

when the girls grow up, at around 25 years old, they change their likings.. Instead of wanting a dramatic relationsship with no safe future, they suddenly wants to have a normal life and have some fun without being hurt all the time... its at that time that the Mr. Nice Guy gets some fresh meat! :)

so ye... in the long run Mr. Nice Guy is the winner... :P

i guess i'm playing the game... I used to be 100% Mr. Nice Guy... got me nowhere... now i'm Mr. Abuse when trying to attract the ladies... it works... just remember not to "over-do" it... it'll backfire in ur face :P lmao... :peace:

so ye.. if someone is anoying when it comes to relationsships its diffinitely(sp?) the lady's... :/

(check this text :D its from a fun site i'm reading about a japanese teacher, believe me, its worth the read...)

Women are always saying how they want a nice guy…someone who will open up to them, spend time with them, do nice things for them, in general, be there for them.
Bullshit.
Next time I hear that from a woman, I will say exactly that. Bullshit. Because you don't want the nice guys. Sure, you can say you do all you want, and maybe you can trick yourself into believing it too. But the truth is - you want the jerks. You want the guys who show an interest in you, then back off for no apparent reason. You want the guys who don't call you for two weeks, and when they do they swear up and down they're committed to you. You want the ones who don't talk to you, don't open up at all (and you want to change them to boot!) If you do find a nice guy, you make sure he's unattainable. He has a girlfriend, or he's gay, or he doesn't want a relationship at all. Basically, you want what you can't have.
You know how I know this? I used to be a nice guy. Yeah, I'm the one you always come running to when the jerks screw you over. I listen to your problems, I offer advice. Like all nice guys before me, and the countless ones after, I'm always there to back you up. I tell you how pretty you are. I tell you how fun it is to spend time with you, how cool you are, how you deserve great things. You say thanks, briefly, and then continue to rant about Jerk #2873.
I tell you over and over that you deserve a better guy, and there's always that "but…". Then you call me up at 1 in the morning some night just to tell me how he finally called you after two weeks, and how happy it's made you. You make excuses for why he's been ignoring you. You make more plans to change him. "If." And, do you know what the worst part is? This is the guy you're attracted to. This is the guy you're willing to get physical with. This is the guy you're willing to lose your virginity to. You make a big deal about how you're not a slut, and you won't just kiss any guy. But you admit that you would go all the way with this guy. Or you want to. Or, you already have.
No, you don't want a nice guy. And don't give me that bullshit about "a good man is hard to find." There are millions of them out there. Probably hundreds around where you live. And I'm willing to bet you know a few. You know that guy you call at any hour at night to talk about your relationship triumphs/problems? The one who always compliments you, makes you feel better about yourself? Is always willing to drop whatever he's doing to satisfy your needs?
What about him? No, of course not him. He's not enough of a jerk for you.
And the worst part? You don't want him now…but you will. When you get older, oh, say 30, and the ticking of your biological clock gets louder and louder, and you realize you can't play these bullshit games anymore, you stop going for the jerks and find the closest nice guy you can find. Wait, I take that back, the absolute worst part is that we let you do it. We've been starved for your attention since puberty, and now we're all too happy to get it. We're nice guys too, so we accept you when you come around, instead of giving you the cold shoulder in return you've been giving us for 15 years.
I used to be a nice guy. **** that. I took the phone calls, I dished out the compliments, I listened, I gave so much advice, shit, I should have a doctorate in psychology conferred to me right this instant. I used to be a nice guy, and I figured that I didn't need to actively look for a girl - that if I just got to know people, some girl would get to know me and really like me and develop an interest in me. I thought that I would make for an ideal partner, I'd open up with you, and be there as much or as little as you wanted me to.
I used to be a nice guy. What did that get me? 21 years of my right hand and softcore porn on Showtime. So, :cen: it. :cen: it entirely. I'm not going to try to meet women and get to know them, and to hell with the phone calls at one in the morning. Next time you start bitching to me over the fact that he hasn't called in a week, I'm just going to smile at you and say "Ok." In fact, maybe, I'll tell you to call him. Better yet, go over to his house, and drop your pants for him right this moment. Save us all some time. I feel the desire to be that good, dependable, caring friend slipping rapidly away.
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first time i read that i set a goal to change myself... now i'm a lazy evil :cen:, and u guys know what? the girls love me for it! :P

saddening if u think about it :P lol
 
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NavyBrat88 said:
Well why can't you find something else to do. It pisses us off when you mess with us like that.
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y'know, a lady friend of mine was genuinely surprised to find me an honest, honorable, and intelligent person. She had never before encountered those aspects in one male. Strange.
 
Lmao, i find this thread funnny. I have a lot more female friends than i do male friends cause frankily women make better friends.

I am not gay and have dated several of my friends. I think your all full of it, a guy can be intersted and show it without being a sex-crazed monster. Its called being sweet, something MOST guys lack nowdays.
 
Rabs said:
Lmao, i find this thread funnny. I have a lot more female friends than i do male friends cause frankily women make better friends.

I am not gay and have dated several of my friends. I think your all full of it, a guy can be intersted and show it without being a sex-crazed monster. Its called being sweet, something MOST guys lack nowdays.
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nahh we dont lack it... we just dont show it, cus if we do... we'll get the cold shoulder and a letter saying: I Wanna Be Ur Best Friend O_o

being a friend of the ladies ****s ass :/
 
Rabs has a very good point- Many times, women are much easier to get along with than men. Fact of the matter is, though, it's oftentimes a matter of respect, or lack thereof.
 
Sooooo coming from the master tease. lol.

So my little sister and I were walking through the YMCA last night. She would constantly say "Hey Jordan, that guy was checkin you out!" and thought it was the coolest thing ever that a guy held the door for me and did the trying to catch my eye deal.

For me, this boosts my self confidence (which is sorta at a low). I have a look but not touch policy. A guy can look, that means he finds me attractive. If a guy touches without some type of approval, I tend to assume he finds me easy, and well, things do not go well ;-)

I posted a blog on my myspace a bit back to give my now ex boyfriend a heads up. You might find me cruel, but hey, I'm 16, picky, and not in the mood to pick out curtains yet.

So.... A while back, while surrounded by my wonderful drumline, it was brought up that girls like :cen: . I basically shot down that idea and told them that it was ridiculous.
Days later, I finally came to the conclusion that girls really do like :cen:.
Girls like a challenge.
We like having something to work for.

We like knowing that weakness that will get us anything, and we like seeing a guy struggle to not give in.

We like when a guy is rough with us, but has a soft touch.

Guys are all strung out on being "that guy that every girl really wishes they could have"... The nice guys finish last. That's why. Those who finish first are the :cen: that a girl knows she will always have something to work for, knows that it's hard for him to admit that she's the best thing that's ever happened to her - but when he kisses her goodbye at night she can feel it in his hug, his kiss, and can see it in his eyes.


Or hey, maybe it's just me.
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So.

Another example.

So we spend parties and movies in each others arms... never anything more... and then we go our own ways. Not involved enough to be a one night stand, but our hopes are up until hours later when we remember the last time it happened. The next day... everything is normal.
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So, i went to the movies this weekend with that guy. Once more, I spent the movie in his arms. Thing is, when we left the movie, he didn't take them away. He kept his arm around me and holding my hand until we got out of the theater and to my friends car.

So, she thinks he likes me. I think he'll just continue to persue another chick and the cycle will continue.





So chick, all I can tell you is, ENJOY IT! You are at the prime of life, ENJOY being single. ENJOY no commitment. I am!:lol:
 
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