The Unusual Bet

October 9th, 2003  
Mark Conley

Topic: The Unusual Bet

And I think we over pay them sometimes:

One day, a Army General was looking over the financial statements of the men in his division when he notice what appeared to be an error in one man’s bank account. The man, a private, had literally thousands of dollars in his account, yet made only the standard $790.00 a month that privates were paid at that time. Fearing a case of impropriety or worse yet, a potential spy in the pay of the enemy, he called for the young private to clear up the obvious discrepancy.

The adjutant delivered the young man post haste to the General’s office. Having the young private in his office, the general confronted him with the account amounts and demanded to know what was going on. The young private said “ Well sir, its an easy explanation. I am a man who makes money on making unusual or impossible bets with the other personnel.” Puzzled, the general demanded a further explanation. “Well General, it would probably be easier to demonstrate my talent than explain it,” the young private said. The general agreed, and asked the private to proceed.

“General, I am going to make an impossible bet with you” the young private stated. “ I’m going to bet you $5,000.00 dollars that exactly at 1200 hours this Friday afternoon, you will have square testicles instead of round one’s”. The general look incredulously at the young private, and then smiled. “ Son, I am going to show you there’s no way you can make a bet like that with me and win. You are on” and with that, both men shook hands on it.

Each day, the General carefully made sure that he engaged in no activities that could allow the bet to be won by the private. He refused to sit in chairs, for fear the pressure might change the shape of his testicles. He selected his underwear with care, and with no starch. Finally Friday arrived. He asked that the adjutant go get the private, and bring him once again to his office. Before the dreaded hour, he sneaked one more quick feel, just to make sure that nothing had changed down there.

The private arrived with the adjutant exactly at 1200 hours. “Well Sir, are you ready?” said the private. The general nodded, dropped his pants, and said, “ Well lets just see if you have prevailed”. The private reached out, felt around for a few minutes, and conceded that he had lost. With that, he gave the General a check for the amount agreed on, saluted, and walked out of the office.

The General chortled in glee, turned to the adjutant, and was just about to exclaim about how dumb some men are when he noticed that the man was as white as a sheet. “What wrong Adjutant?” he said. “Haven’t you ever seen a man lose a bet before”? I just took that man for $5,000.00 dollars. Some men just don’t know when to gamble.”

“ I agree totally sir,” the young adjutant said. “But that $5,000.00 dollars you bet him isn’t near the $20,000.00 dollars I bet that he wouldn’t have your testicles in his hands at 1200 hours today”.
February 18th, 2004  
lmfao this joke was so hilarious, i couldn't stop laughing
May 23rd, 2004  
Get da **** out of here..............
May 24th, 2004  
Thats one strange joke u got their
May 25th, 2004  
Funny. Wrong, but funny.
May 30th, 2004  
C/2nd Lt Robot
heard that one many times but still funny
June 2nd, 2004  
lil Lt
funny in an uterlly sick way
April 2nd, 2007  
Team Infidel
too darn funny
April 2nd, 2007  
Hahaha wow...