A mate of mine ar RAF Wattisham went home on three weeks leave, when he came back on unit I asked how his leave was. This is his story:-

I arrived home on Friday night, one of the neighbours was having a bottle party and asked if I would like to come. I bought a few cans of beer and went to the party, where there was a numbnut thinking he's the heart and soul of the party, began to tell a joke regarding Thalidomide victims. (It was a drug given to pregnant women suffering from morning sickness, however it resulted in serious birth defects.)

I took exception to this, I didnt like the pillock anyway, so I said loudly "My brother is a Thalidomide victim (he doesnt have a brother) he's got no arms, no legs, he's got one eye in the middle of his head, he's blind and deaf, yet the poor little búgger has worked all of his life." The joke died a death and the gobby pillock was very embarrassed, he came up to me later and apologised then asked what work he did. So keeping a straight face replied, ""He's a paper weight""

My apologies to those who find this story offensive, but it is a true but typical sick military humour story.

Originally Posted by BritinBritain

A mate of mine ar RAF Wattisham went home on three weeks leave, when he came back on unit I asked how his leave was. This is his story:-

I arrived home on Friday night, one of the neighbours was having a bottle party and asked if I would like to come. I bought a few cans of beer and went to the party, where there was a numbnut thinking he's the heart and soul of the party, began to tell a joke regarding Thalidomide victims. (It was a drug given to pregnant women suffering from morning sickness, however it resulted in serious birth defects.)

I took exception to this, I didnt like the pillock anyway, so I said loudly "My brother is a Thalidomide victim (he doesnt have a brother) he's got no arms, no legs, he's got one eye in the middle of his head, he's blind and deaf, yet the poor little búgger has worked all of his life." The joke died a death and the gobby pillock was very embarrassed, he came up to me later and apologised then asked what work he did. So keeping a straight face replied, ""He's a paper weight""

My apologies to those who find this story offensive, but it is a true but typical sick military humour story.

To be honest that is a joke that would work here unless told it to one of our touchy feely be kind types, they would be offended horribly but they are offended by everything so who cares.
It is still a standing joke with a friend that I upset his grandmother, I was talking to her not long after my father died and she asked if I was the one that had lost my father to which I replied "no I know exactly where he is" that pretty much ended the discussion.
😊