Red permanent marker smiles...ever had/give one?

C

CavScout

Active member
When I was in, we used to find units on an ARTEP or something that thought they were on a vacation and give the perimeter guards a smiley face with a permanent marker on their.....necks. This way you always knew who wasn't paying attention on guard or who had fallen asleep. Man that would piss some people off. We always loved our brass coming down, and grinning and saying that official policy was that we would not be participating in these activities...and that any one caught doing them would be subject to company punishment. Needless to say it didn't stop and that certain units were far more alert on training exercises than normal...as they should have been.... :D
 
that sounds pretty annoying... AWESOME!

did you stop with the smiley faces or did you do other things? i would think incriminating photos would have gone over well!
 
implicature said:
that sounds pretty annoying... AWESOME!

did you stop with the smiley faces or did you do other things? i would think incriminating photos would have gone over well!
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Well the idea was to simulate the cutting of a throat...any one with one of those out in the field...at least in the CONUS.... meant they had fallen asleep on guard and got taken out. It was a way of showing people the error of their ways without being too harsh and maybe it would help some one take their job a little more serious.
 
My unit often had unofficial "raider parties" on ARTEP and did exactly that. Here's the biggest funny, our most fervent participant was the battalion chaplain! He was a Catholic priest too! We called him "Father Rambo".
 
Hmmm Sounds similar to what happened at a CAP encampment that I went to....... I would come out sometime in the middle of the night to go get some water. The CQ cadets were like, out. Being a good little cadet, I wrote down my name, the time, and my ID number. Then I wrote, that the CQ cadets had taken a nap. I didn't know that they read the papers in staff meetings........ :-o And we all had blue sharpies for marking our clothes. I drew a nice little bullseye on the back of the guys neck!!!! It was 2:34 in the morning, they had only been on duty for a half hour.
 
Not sharpies - grease

We didn't carry sharpies in the field - we had a grease that had a heavy blue dye mixed in (it soaked into bearings and races and showed beginning cracks in the metal during regular maintenance).

We'd place a gob of grease in each of the offenders little patties and then tickle his nose with a piece of grass.

Even asleep the feeling of a fly crawling on your nose or face has a predictable reaction.

After swatting at the "fly", the person caught napping on duty would have a nice blue "doogie" in the area of the nose for at least a week. It took that long for the dye to wear off.
 
Geez, in our units a marker would never show up on the heavily cammied faces. After a while in the field it was mostly dirt but still.
When I was a scout PSG, we used to get yanked for OPFOR duty all the time, especially for National Guard units. I used to either steal their weapons (especially crew served) and our CO would require their CO to come and pick it up at some later date, with the appropriate amount of ribbing. Often, if I didn't feel like actually taking a vehicle, I'd just use soap to put some derrogatory remark on the windshield.
I've had as much as 10 cases of beer (that I knew of) on my head as a bounty to anyone who could capture me. Nobody ever did but I was tempted to split the bounty and turn myself in sometimes :)
Most of their line companies were pretty good but once we got by them the REMFs were just what you'd expect. My favorite mission was a snatch mission where they'd give us the name of somebody and our job was to capture him and return him to our BN HQ. Once, when we got a new BN CDR, he gave us a Battalion Commander's name and I delivered him wrapped in a poncho right to my Colonel's position. His jaw dropped when our Lt. and I woke him up to tell him that the misssion was accomplished and there was a package outside for him. I disappeared quickly before they unwrapped the package though. I did hear that there was quite a ruckus though. :smile:
 
My staff on IAP and BOTP (Basic Officer Training, for you non-Canadians out there) did this to the guys who fell asleep while on sentry during the field phase of our training.
 
In a similar vein. Many years ago I was the third hand in the Engine room of a Naval tanker and we were expressly forbidden to answer the control room sound powered phones (8 of them)by the Engineer of the watch.

One disgruntled Stoker waited until the Gingerbeer was absent for a minute and sprayed all of the earpieces with Moly di sulphide grease, then once the target returned, he watched through the control room window until the target was engaged in something where he could not see the lights on the phones and just gave one of them a quick ring. Being highly efficient the Gingerbeer races to the phones picking them up one at a time and answering, "Engine Control Room Lt, Xxxxxx" those others in the control room (Throttle watchkeeper, Third Hand, and chief of the watch) watched in barely concealed mirth as both ears and the sides of his face become blacker and blacker. No one said a thing, next watch he still hadn't twigged what had happened and of course we had cleaned the earpieces carefully. I would have given a million dollars to have seen his face when he looked in the mirror.

Then again, what else are Junior Engineers good for??
 
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