pilot jokes




 
--
Boots
 
November 8th, 2005  
xander
 
 

Topic: pilot jokes


The Herc and the F-15s

A couple of F-15's are escorting a C-130 Hercules, and their pilots are chatting with the pilot of the transport to pass the time. Talk comes ‘round to the relative merits of their respective aircraft. Of course the fighter pilots contend that their airplanes were better because of their superior speed, maneuverability, weaponry, and so forth, while the putting down the Herc’s deficiencies in these areas.

After taking this for a while, the C-130 pilot says, "Oh yeah? Well, I can do a few things in this old girl that you'd only dream about." Naturally, the fighter jocks challenge him to demonstrate.

"Just watch," comes the quick retort.

And so they watch. But all they see is that C-130 continuing to fly straight and level..

After several minutes the Herc pilot comes back on the air, saying "There! How was that?"

Not having seen anything, the fighter pilots reply, "What are you talking about? What did you do?"

And the Herc pilot replies, "Well, I got up, stretched my legs, got a cup of coffee, then went back an took a leak."

Q&A

Q: How do you know if there is an Air Force pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.

Q: What's the difference between an Air Force pilot and a jet engine?
A: A jet engine stops whining when the planes shuts down.

Q: How many Air Force pilots does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One...he just holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

Q: How do you bury a fighter pilot?
A: You give him an enema and bury what’s left in a shoe box.

The Three Pilots

Three pilots are walking through the forest when they come upon a set of tracks.

The first pilot says, "Those are deer tracks."

The second pilot says, "No, those are elk tracks."

The third pilot says, "You're both wrong! Those are moose tracks."

The pilots were still arguing when the train hit them.

“My Wife . . . .”

A Navy Chief and an Air Force General were getting shave sin a barbershop.

As the barbers were reaching for some after-shave to slap on their faces, the General

shouts, "Hey, don't put that crap on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" Whereupon the Chief turns to his barber and says, "Go ahead and put it on me, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
November 8th, 2005  
LIPS
 
 
All very good
November 8th, 2005  
AFSteliga
 
 
Very nice.
--
Boots
November 13th, 2005  
JulesLee
 
 
lol! loved the last one
November 19th, 2005  
sandy
 
NICE!
November 19th, 2005  
MightyMacbeth
 
 
lol, i liked the train one
November 19th, 2005  
Springfield
 
 
Haha, I liked the first one. Funny.
November 19th, 2005  
tomtom22
 
 
I liked them all.
November 19th, 2005  
Fox
 
 
June 26th, 2009  
AJChenMPH
 
 
Bump to the top...I got this one in my inbox again this week:

Quote:
Originally Posted by xander
The Herc and the F-15s

A couple of F-15's are escorting a C-130 Hercules, and their pilots are chatting with the pilot of the transport to pass the time. Talk comes ‘round to the relative merits of their respective aircraft. Of course the fighter pilots contend that their airplanes were better because of their superior speed, maneuverability, weaponry, and so forth, while the putting down the Herc’s deficiencies in these areas.

After taking this for a while, the C-130 pilot says, "Oh yeah? Well, I can do a few things in this old girl that you'd only dream about." Naturally, the fighter jocks challenge him to demonstrate.

"Just watch," comes the quick retort.

And so they watch. But all they see is that C-130 continuing to fly straight and level..

After several minutes the Herc pilot comes back on the air, saying "There! How was that?"

Not having seen anything, the fighter pilots reply, "What are you talking about? What did you do?"

And the Herc pilot replies, "Well, I got up, stretched my legs, got a cup of coffee, then went back an took a leak."
And someone actually wrote a response!

Quote:
I enjoyed your story about the "capabilities" of the Transport vs the Fighter. Reminded me of an incident that happened in the Navy back in the 1960's. At that time, F4 Phantoms were the Navy's hot fighter jets. As it happens, there was a Navy C130 transport on which a Rear Admiral (O-7) had hitched a ride. At this point in the story, the C130 pilot had to take a latrine break and put the transport on auto-pilot.

Meanwhile, a squadron of six F4 Phantoms were flying in formation and picked up the transport's signal on radar long before the C130's equipment would notice the fighters. So the squadron leader decided to initiate a little experiment in airborne psychology. He ordered the squadron to fly inverted.

Now, flying in the clouds, you don't really think much about terms like "up" and "down". It all looks the same and you just trust the equipment. So here's a Rear Admiral relaxing in the co-pilot's seat, when he sees six F4 Phantoms approaching him, ALL upside down. At that moment, the Admiral's reaction was that public opinion outnumbered his own by 6 to 1. So in a panic, he grabbed the controls and tried to invert the giant transport.

Of course, the big plane probably never rolled much more than maybe 30 degrees, but suddenly the pilot came rushing out of the lavatory, still pulling his pants up, to grab the controls and steady the plane. The squadron flew by, rolling right side up, and the commander gave the C130 a two-finger salute. By the time the transport landed at its destination, the story was all over the tarmac.

The reason I remember the story so well after so many years is that it illustrates that the majority is not always right.