Patton and the Ranger




 
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Boots
 
February 10th, 2012  
brinktk
 
 

Topic: Patton and the Ranger


General Patton is sitting on a mountaintop and sees an Airborne Ranger rowing a canoe down a stream. All the while the ranger is rowing in cadence

"Airborne Ranger Airborne Ranger where have you been?"

General Patton is a little bored so he decides he's gonna take half of this rangers brain. He points with his mighty General Finger and says "POW!" The Ranger jerks back and to the left in the canoe, shakes it off and sits up a little dumbfounded but remembers what he was doing and continues on.

"Airborne Ranger Airborne Ranger where have you been?"

General Patton wonders if his General Powers are failing but knows better and realizes that Airborne Rangers only need half their brain to enjoy life. He is now interested in how far this can go. He points his mighty General Finger once again and zaps the ranger a second time. He wants to take 3/4 of the rangers brain. This time the ranger falls back in the canoe and has to pick himself up. He looks around and sees the oar he was using to row in the stream. The ranger picks it up and looks at it wondering what it is. After a few moments he realizes what is going on and goes about his way.

"Airborne Ranger Airborne Ranger where have you been?"

This time General Patton is really excited. This Airborne Ranger is functioning on 1/4 of his brain and it doesn't affect him in the least. A little morbid thought creeps into his General Brain and he decides to see what would happen if he takes ALL of this Airborne Rangers brain. He gathers up all of his General Powers and points one last time with his General Finger at this Airborne Ranger and zaps him one last time. The ranger flips backward in the canoe. He's laying facedown and looks like a ragdoll. It takes him a full 10 minutes to remember how to use his arms and lift himself to a sitting position. The ranger looks around and tries to understand what he is seeing. A couple of times he catches his nose in his peripheral vision and tries to eat it. He finally sees the oar he was using a little while ago and picks it up. After hurting himself trying to bite off a piece to eat he decides it isn't food. Another 10 minutes go by before he remembers what the oar is used for. He sits up and lifts his oar for another go.

"From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli..........
February 10th, 2012  
42RM
 

I've always wondered where U.S. Marines came from!
Now I know.
February 11th, 2012  
viper2007
 
 
Awww, come on guys, some of the forum guys here are from the MArines....
--
Boots
February 11th, 2012  
Trooper1854
 
 
Its said in the British Army that to become an officer you need half your brain removed
February 12th, 2012  
42RM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by viper2007
Awww, come on guys, some of the forum guys here are from the MArines....
Yep, and damn good warriors those USMC.
February 12th, 2012  
42RM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trooper1854
Its said in the British Army that to become an officer you need half your brain removed
Remove it all and you have a Guardsman.
February 13th, 2012  
BritinAfrica
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 42RM
Remove it all and you have a Guardsman.
That's why they are called "Wooden tops."
February 13th, 2012  
Trooper1854
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 42RM
Remove it all and you have a Guardsman.
Ah! But you forget about Lieutenant Robert Lawrence, Scots Guards.
He must have had some brains to start with as he had nearly half of them blown out by a sniper on Mount Tumbledown during the Falklands War, and he survived!
The human body never fails to amaze me!
February 13th, 2012  
viper2007
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trooper1854
Ah! But you forget about Lieutenant Robert Lawrence, Scots Guards.
He must have had some brains to start with as he had nearly half of them blown out by a sniper on Mount Tumbledown during the Falklands War, and he survived!
The human body never fails to amaze me!
The Scots, they are tough cookies...
February 13th, 2012  
Trooper1854
 
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by viper2007
The Scots, they are tough cookies...
Not 100% 0n this but I don't think he is Scottish.
In the Guards, especially the Scots, Welsh, and Irish, you don't need to be born there to become an officer in the Regiment.
A mate of mine, born and bred in North London, joined the Royal Regiment of Wales!
And I knew a Royal Anglian who was Scottish!