Navy/Marine Humor




 
--
Boots
 
July 18th, 2003  
Linda
 

Topic: Navy/Marine Humor


Why does the Navy have Marines on their ships?




Answer:



Sheep would be too obvious. :P
April 28th, 2004  
MCJROTCgirl
 
ooo...harsh...funny, but harsh. how about this one for ya:

A Marine walks into the restroom and procedes to use the urinal. When he is done, he travels over to the sink and begins to wash his hands. As he does so, he sees a Navy SEAL walk in, use the urinal, and walk out without stopping to wash his hands. The Marine hurries out of the bathroom and catches up with the guy.

"Didn't the Navy teach you to wash your hands after you use the bathroom?" the Marine asks.

The SEAL gives him a balnk stare and replies, "Didn't the Marine Corps teach you not to pee on your hands?"
April 28th, 2004  
Razor
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCJROTCgirl
<snip>
Hehehe, I still like that one.

Heres a good one.

Attention Army bashing ahead!

This Marine, all messed up from Vietnam,
Went to the hospital to get checked.
Because of the war, his brain was all screwed up,
And all he could say,
Was the words to the Marines hymn.
So the doctor asked his name, he replied, "From the Halls of Montezuma."
The doctor decided to remove part of his brain,
Thinking that would cure it.
When the doctor did this,
The Marine still said "From the Halls of Montezuma..."
The doctor figured he did not remove enough of the brain.
So after removing some more,
The marine still only said those words.
The doctor, now getting frustrated,
Decided to take the rest of the brain out.
Now the Marine, with no brain,
Stood up and started singing,
"Be an Army of One!"
--
Boots
April 28th, 2004  
Darkmb101
 
haha that was good, cruel but good
April 29th, 2004  
Razor
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkmb101
haha that was good, cruel but good
Most of the best joke are only good cuz they make fun of some one, it the way we humans are made I guess, we just like to make fun of others.
April 29th, 2004  
Darkmb101
 
like the saying goes:

"We're not laughing AT you; we're laughing at you.... Whoops did i say that out loud?"
April 29th, 2004  
SHERMAN
 
 

Topic: easy


Well, firstly LOL. Secondly, no core-war now...
May 2nd, 2004  
USYM_1SG
 

Topic: hehehehehee


ok heres how it really goes hehehe OOOOrah

A Sailor walks into the restroom and procedes to use the urinal. When he is done, he travels over to the sink and begins to wash his hands. As he does so, he sees a Marine walk in, use the urinal, and walk out without stopping to wash his hands. The Sailor hurries out of the bathroom and catches up with the guy.

"Didn't the Corps teach you to wash your hands after you use the bathroom?" the Sailor asks.

The Marine gives him a balnk stare and replies, "Didn't the Navy teach you Swab Jokies not to pee on your hands?
May 14th, 2004  
MCJROTCgirl
 
oh well...its funny either way. heres some more:

Public Address System at U.S. Military Base in Kuwait:
Announcer, "May I have your attention please; the time is now eighteen hundred hours ...repeat, eighteen hundred hours.
For those of you civilians on base that's six p.m.
For those members of the Naval Services that's four bells (?). And, for those of you who are Marines, the big hand is on the twelve..."

Do You Have Your I.D. ?
A few years back one of the new Marines at the Barracks at Yorktown, VA was standing post at the main gate of the Naval Weapons Station. The duty policy was to check 100% of all I.D. cards including military in uniform regardless of rank. A Navy sedan drove up to the gate with a young seaman at the wheel and a rear admiral sitting in the back. The young Marine PFC signaled for the car to stop, approached the driver, and asked to see both I.D. cards. The admiral told the Marine that he was on his way to meet with the station C.O. and didn't have time for such nonsense....
Admiral to driver: "Go ahead."
...PFC to driver: "Don't do that."
...Admiral to driver: "You heard me, Drive on."
...PFC to Admiral as he draws his .45: "Sir, this is my first time on post. Do I shoot you or your driver?"
The admiral showed his I.D.

Boot Camp Morning Intro:
The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers at Parris Island Boot Camp Daily Training, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Jones will be setting the pace on our morning run. With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Jones was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news, Private Jones will be driving my Hummer."
May 18th, 2004  
Darkmb101