July 6th, 2004  


Tell me what you think of this one, I seem to always attract these sort of incidents - at least I try!

O.k., it was this Sunday, the 4th of July on my aircraft carrier (yes, its MY aircraft carrier, thats what the U.S.S. stands for United Ship of Stacey).

Anyway, the ship was having a 4th of July festivity. We were having 4 country bands, food, dancing, kiddie things, and watching fireworks on the flight deck.

I was in charge of sitting at the volunteer sign-up desk to get volunteers for our next event. I was at a long table. I had a 4th of July volunteer sitting next to me "M" a stuffy school teacher type of guy. Next to him was "S" who heads our membership drive. Next to her was the lost and found people and then at the other end of me was the volunteer sign in for the volunteers signing in to help on the 4th.

Anyway, it was early in the morning and we had all just arrived and had sort of never worked together, or at least at a table for an event, so we were all a little formal and polite (I mean they were, I never am).

We were across from the quarter deck, which is where the entrance plank is. So into the ship and up to our table came this really old lady with bright red hair and her son. She looked to be about in her 80s. The son, maybe 40s or 50s...

She comes up to to me, the stuffy school teacher volunteer and the membership lady. She says "Where is the museum?" We all look sort of dumbfounded for a moment. Then "S" says "Maam, your standing in it." She says "WHAT?" I say "The Hornet IS a museum." "S" says "A living museum." The old lady thinks about it and then she says "Well, then can I show you something?" We all somehow psychically know to be a little scared, but "S" says "O.k....."

She plonks a photo album in front of all of us. She starts to show us pictures of her in WWII. K, that's nice. Hmmm.. Each page is a picture of the old lady (then a young lady), in a bar with 4 sailors, 3 sailors, 8 sailors, 6 sailors. Hmmmm... all different sailors....

She turns to a page with a more formal picture. Set in a studio type. With guess what? Her and a sailor! So "S" says very assuredly:

"That must be you and your husband."

Silence.. the old lady says "no."

More silence....

Then she shows us a picture of her in an enlisted WAC outfit. A perfect opportunity to change the subject. I say Wow! Thats a GREAT picture!" The old ladys says "Yes, I joined the WACs to meet men. And guess what? There were no men there! Boy was I mad!"

I think the table was collectively trying to refrain from falling out of their chairs, but we all managed to stay calm.

Then, out of the blue she says "Well one day, there was this ensign. He was short and fat, bald and ugly. He was at the Hottie Tottie room (or something like that). He was so drunk, he was passed out cold. Me and six sailors brought him to his ship, put chicken livers on his head and threw him onto the ship. Otherwise he would have been AWOL."

Poor "M" the stuffy old teacher couldn't take anymore. "I had no idea the volunteer table would be like this!" I patted him on the back. I think he asked her why they put chicken livers on the ensign's head. She seemed to act like it was just a matter of what they did back then. "M" says to the old lady "I didn't know people in WWII were so crazy. " She leans into the table and says cyrptically "you have no idea....."

With that, "S" gave her the ship's archivist and told her to contact him to show him her pictures. She trots off with her son.

The table is silent for about ten seconds. Then I mimic "S" asking the old lady "Oh, that must be your husband." "No......" And everyone just fell out. The whole table bust out laughing. Then about ten minutes of raunchy jokes which I cannot repeat ensued. I think you can all use your imagination about that...

Two tour guides on the ship walk up to see what is so funny. One of them is an ex "WAV" from WWII. The male docent was also in WWII. We told them about her pictures, her WAC men-searching failure and the chicken liver story. We tell them she said thats how WWII was." I can't really explain the look they gave us when we said that. It was sort of like "O.k., maybe WWII was like that in CRAZY PEOPLE WORLD!!!"

Later we heard the old lady was on the flight deck, dancing in front of the country band.

The end...
July 6th, 2004  
Mark Conley
Yep..many storys are told about the WACs and The WAVEs and the WAFs...wots of wafs about the WAFs...but I think this one belongs up there with the grat ones...Good job Stacey! they let you take your carrier home on the weekends?
July 6th, 2004  
Thanks. I am sure I could take it home with me. But for one thing, its so smelly! Also, we have racoons living on it, and they have fleas, so I think I will keep it where its at for now...
August 4th, 2004  
great story, if u were to take the carrier home where would u put it?
August 4th, 2004  
I would set in right smack in the middle of Berkeley. I would also park a sherman tank in my drive way with a submachine gun on top.
August 16th, 2007  
Team Infidel
that's a great story
March 22nd, 2009  

March 24th, 2009  
Oh my! :LOL: