GHR
Active member
Although combat is something to be taken seriously, sometimes situations arise where humor can help ease the pressure. Here are some of the situations I have experienced and heard of.
On a patrol in Iraq one of the guys is waking ahead of our APC. Suddenly the belt hits a mine and the guy in front is thrown away by the blast wave. Having assured that everyone in the vehicle is unharmed, we try to make contact with the soldier who was blown away. As the dust settles he comes forward somewhat shocked. His equipment in misalignment, the helmet is gone and he's completely covered with dust. All he comes up with is: how do I look? Am I ok? To which our lieutenant respond - you look like Bruce Willis on a bad hair day.
During a patrol in Afghanistan, someone take a shot at us. Luckily, we walk next to a stone wall and I jump straight over to get coverage. Behind me is one of our female soldiers, and since she is on her first patrol she doesn’t reacts as fast as the rest of us and the third man literally throw her over the fence with the result that she lands with her face in my crotch. I look down and look into two big scared blue eyes and I say: Tina darling! I love you too, but let’s save the blow job to our wedding night.
Radio Correspondence between our Company Commander and Platoon Leader.
PL: I need support to get TB out from the compound.
CC: I'm trying to get it to you.
PL: Roger
CC: Peter! I have an idea! If you take all your clothes off and run naked toward the TA while you grunt then when TA see your corpulent pink body they will think you're a wild pig and will immediately withdraw from the compound!
One of our squad leaders takes a shot on the inside of the thigh close to the man's private parts. He is being pulled to safety and our medic takes over. Fortunately, the shot only grazed him but clearly nervous about the possibly of damage to the *****, he asks the medic if he will check on whether his **** is unharmed. The medic checks, looks up and says with a worried voice - I'm not sure - what size is the body part I should look for?
On a patrol in Iraq one of the guys is waking ahead of our APC. Suddenly the belt hits a mine and the guy in front is thrown away by the blast wave. Having assured that everyone in the vehicle is unharmed, we try to make contact with the soldier who was blown away. As the dust settles he comes forward somewhat shocked. His equipment in misalignment, the helmet is gone and he's completely covered with dust. All he comes up with is: how do I look? Am I ok? To which our lieutenant respond - you look like Bruce Willis on a bad hair day.
During a patrol in Afghanistan, someone take a shot at us. Luckily, we walk next to a stone wall and I jump straight over to get coverage. Behind me is one of our female soldiers, and since she is on her first patrol she doesn’t reacts as fast as the rest of us and the third man literally throw her over the fence with the result that she lands with her face in my crotch. I look down and look into two big scared blue eyes and I say: Tina darling! I love you too, but let’s save the blow job to our wedding night.
Radio Correspondence between our Company Commander and Platoon Leader.
PL: I need support to get TB out from the compound.
CC: I'm trying to get it to you.
PL: Roger
CC: Peter! I have an idea! If you take all your clothes off and run naked toward the TA while you grunt then when TA see your corpulent pink body they will think you're a wild pig and will immediately withdraw from the compound!
One of our squad leaders takes a shot on the inside of the thigh close to the man's private parts. He is being pulled to safety and our medic takes over. Fortunately, the shot only grazed him but clearly nervous about the possibly of damage to the *****, he asks the medic if he will check on whether his **** is unharmed. The medic checks, looks up and says with a worried voice - I'm not sure - what size is the body part I should look for?
Last edited: