Dougals joke post. MODs please let back to back posts - Page 10

February 22nd, 2005  
I had both while very sober
At the same time? Your just sick!!
February 22nd, 2005  
Two privates stationed at Fort Campbell were handed shovels and told to bury a large, dead animal. While digging they got into an argument about what they were burying.

"This here's a big mule!"

"This ain't no mule, this here's a donkey."



Well, this went on for a while until the camp chaplain came by. "What are you boys doing?"

"We're diggin' a grave for this mule."

"Donkey, dammit!"

The chaplain cut in, "Boys, this isn't either one, it's an ass."

An hour later, the camp commander came up and said, "What are you men doing, digging a foxhole?"

"No sir. We're diggin' an *******."
February 22nd, 2005  
T' was the night before Christmas and all through the Land,
They're running like rabbits in Afghanistan,
Osama's been praying, he's down on his Knees,
He's hoping that Allah will hear all his Pleas.
He thought if he killed us that we'd fall and Shatter,
But all that he's done is just make us Madder.
We ain't yet forgotten our Marines in Beirut,
And we'll kick your butt, with one heavy Boot.

And yes we remember the USS Cole,
And the lives of our sailors that you bastards Stole.
You think you can rule us and cause us to Fear,
You'll soon get the answer if you live to Hear.
And we ain't forgotten your buddy Saddam,
And he ain't forgotten the sound of our Bombs.
You think that those mountains are somewhere to Hide.
They'll go down in history as the place where you Died.

Remember Khadhafi and his Line of Death?
He came very close, to his final Breath.
So come out and prove it, that you are a Man,
Cause our boys are coming and they have a Plan.
They are our fathers and they are our Sons,
And they sure do carry some mighty big Guns.
They would have stayed home with children and Wives,
Till you bastards came here and took all these Lives.

Osama I wrote this especially for You,
For air mail delivery by B-52.
You soon will be hearing a thud and a whistle,
Old Glory is coming, attached to a Missile
I will not be sorry to see your ass Go.
It's Red, White, and Blue that is running this Show
February 22nd, 2005  
While riding one day, a Marine met an Iraqi riding a camel with a dog and a sheep walking behind and began a conversation.

Marine: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"

Iraqi: "Dog no talk."

Marine: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Iraqi: Look of shock.

Marine: "Is this Iraqi your owner?" pointing at the Iraqi.

Dog: "Yep"

Marine: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the oasis once a week to play."

Iraqi: Look of total disbelief.

Marine: "Mind if I talk to your camel?"

Iraqi: "Horse no talk."

Marine: "Hey camel, how's it going?"

Camel: "Cool."

Iraqi: Extreme look of shock.

Marine: "Is this your owner? " pointing at the Iraqi.

Camel: "Yep"

Marine: "How's he treat you?"

Camel: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me."

Iraqi: Total look of utter amazement.

Marine: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Iraqi: "Sheep liar."
February 22nd, 2005  
Charge 7
Busted a gut on that one, Dougal. Good work!
February 22nd, 2005  
i've heard the version where there animal owner is australian....ah the ANZAC rivalry
February 23rd, 2005  
Originally Posted by chewie_nz
i've heard the version where there animal owner is australian....ah the ANZAC rivalry
lol at dougal, and chewie, ahh i thought it was you guys :P
February 23rd, 2005  
February 23rd, 2005  

Topic: my fav

February 23rd, 2005  
A Can of Man
Originally Posted by dougal
I had both while very sober
At the same time? Your just sick!!
Does on the same day count? I had a kebab and had a wonderful time with my (now ex) girlfriend. 8)