As someone who went through the Canadian equivalent of JROTC (Royal Canadian Air Cadets), and who turned into a productive and responsible member of society, I find that your argument has limited merit. While you might be correct with respect to having these programs embedded in public education, I have to disagree with you on the ethics (or lack thereof, as you seem to argue) and goals of youth military programs.
The aim of these programs is not "to teach kids that the military and war is cool", as you put it, but to provide an environment where teens are able to experience some aspects of military life. In doing so, they gain skills that can benefit them later on throughout life, regardless of what life or career path they choose, be it within the Armed Forces or not. During my entire time in cadets, I never once thought that "war was cool". By the time I was old enough to join cadets, I had already been present for enough Remembrance Day (Veteran's Day in the US) ceremonies to know that war is a horrible thing, and not once in the 6 years of cadets was I given the impression otherwise.
You claim that these "militarized youth" have better things to do. If anything, my being in cadets made me more motivated to get involved with the community and maintain high grades. My opportunities in uniform were greatly impacted by the effort I put into my normal life. Through cadets, I was afforded the opportunity of obtain my Private Pilot's License, and that was only because I showed the motivation and dedication both at home and during training.
While it is unethical (and illegal) to give children weapons and tell them to go kill people, I find absolutely no issues with providing the same children the opportunity to learn how to safely handle a weapon within a controlled environment, supervised by highly trained personnel. That way, if they were to come across an unsecure weapon during their daily life, they would know the potential danger and how to alleviate that risk.
Now, obviously my experience is limited to the Canadian equivalent of JROTC, but I imagine that the US (and other nation's) programs are similar, at least in their general aim Overall however, I don't agree that youth military programs should be banned. Perhaps separated from the public education system, but not eliminated entirely.
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